One day after admitting to an extramarital affair with an aide, Sen. John Ensign (R-NV) pleaded for understanding, arguing that hours spent on a tanning bed had “fried [my] judgment.”

“I ask all of those who consider my wrongdoing to lie an hour on my tanning bed,” he said.  “You’ll see – your ability to tell right from wrong gets pretty darn baked.”

The Nevada senator agreed to 200 hours of community service in which he will work as a traffic cone.

Sen. Ensign received a strong vote of confidence today from another key tanned Republican in Congress.

According to congressional insiders, fellow baked Republican John Boehner (R-OH) is considering breaking off from the G.O.P. along with Sen. Ensign and forming a so-called Orange Party.

ELSEWHERE: Andy Borowitz performs live in NY on July 2 and signs copies of his new book, Who Moved My Soap? The CEO’s Guide to Surviving in Prison: The Bernie Madoff Edition.  Get tickets here.