Senator John Ensign (R-Nev) broke with his fellow Republicans today, telling reporters in Washington that he favors additional stimulus of his package.
“I misread my package’s needs,” the senator said. “It needs significantly more stimulus than I originally thought.”
Sen. Ensign said that while he originally thought his package could make do with one stimulus, “I now think it needs a second, third, or even fourth stimulus.”
The junior senator from Nevada said that he hoped his colleagues would give his proposal a “long, hard” look, but warned, “I’m prepared to be very rigid about this.”
Mr. Ensign brushed aside concerns that his recent sexual scandal could inspire an increase in penis-related jokes about him.
“I was put in the Senate to do a job, and I am not about to blow that job,” he said.
Elsewhere, the New York Post announced that its next headline would be KIM JONG — ILL!
DETROIT (The Borowitz Report) – General Motors’ decision yesterday to stop manufacturing Hummers has struck at the heart of the group who loved the vehicles most: America’s assholes. Across t... [ + ]
SILICON VALLEY (The Borowitz Report) – A new social network is about to alter the playing field of the social media world, and it’s called PhoneBook. According to its creators, who invented the... [ + ]
Andy Borowitz live in New York, 7/2/09
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