Encouraged by their ability to disrupt a week’s worth of town hall meetings on health care, Republican organizers have secured the services of a Hollywood casting director to conduct a nationwide talent search for angry assholes.
Carol Foyler, who has stocked numerous Hollywood films with angry mobs for crowd scenes, says that she is looking for people who are “willing to shout and scream and get red in the face with no provocation.”
Saying that her current assignment was a “challenging” one, Ms. Foyler said finding “angry, out-of-control assholes” is harder than it looks: “You really have to tip your hat to Fox for finding Glenn Beck.”
One possible source of assholes, Republican organizers said, is the burgeoning movement of so-called “Birthers,” who today openly questioned the existence of President Barack Obama.
“We need proof that Barack Obama exists,” said Birther leader Orly Taitz. “In my mind he’s about as real as a unicorn.”
While most Americans still believe that President Obama exists, a new poll shows that most self-described Birthers agree with the statement, “Barack Obama is not a real person and is probably just a hologram or something.”
In other news, the Taliban denied that their leader had been killed, claiming that his Twitter account was down.
Ryan O’Neal apologized for hitting on his own daughter, saying that he would do the honorable thing like Woody Allen and marry her.
Paula Abdul, discussing her plans with reporters, said reality was not in her future.
And Paramount confirmed that their big summer 2010 release would be “Easy-Bake Oven: The Movie.” More here.
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Andy Borowitz live in New York, 7/2/09
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