POSTED October 19, 2009

New iPhone App Detects Balloon Hoaxes

iBalloon Available for Download

CUPERTINO, CA (The Borowitz Report) – Amid fears that publicity-starved parents may try to convince unwitting viewers that they have launched giant balloons with their children inside, Apple today introduced a new iPhone app that detects balloon hoaxes.

The app, called iBalloon, enables the user to point the iPhone at a balloon overhead to determine whether or not there is a child inside.

In other news, Merriam-Webster, the dictionary company, said that the word “balloon” is now an acceptable verb, meaning “fuck with.”

The online dictionary offers this example of the new verb: “You come home at 3 AM and say you were at work all that time – are you ballooning me?”

Elsewhere, Afghan president Hamid Zarkai was accused of ballooning the recent presidential election. More here.

Email This Story to a Friend

BOROWITZ REPORT RSS

Decision to Stop Making Hummers Saddens Assholes

Douchebags Seek New Way to Compensate for Tiny Penises

DETROIT (The Borowitz Report) – General Motors’ decision yesterday to stop manufacturing Hummers has struck at the heart of the group who loved the vehicles most: America’s assholes. Across t... [ + ]

Introducing the Hot New Social Network, PhoneBook

Allows User to Call Friends, Speak to Them

SILICON VALLEY (The Borowitz Report) – A new social network is about to alter the playing field of the social media world, and it’s called PhoneBook. According to its creators, who invented the... [ + ]