NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – In the wake of his comments about the earthquake in Haiti, televangelist Pat Robertson has become a “public relations nightmare” and a “gynormous embarrassment to me, personally,” God said today.
In a rare press conference at the Grand Hyatt in New York City, the usually reclusive Almighty said that He was taking the unusual step of airing His feelings in public because “enough is enough.”
“I pray that his TV show would just go away, but of course, when you’re me there’s no one to pray to,” God said, to the laughter of the packed room of reporters.
While God held out no hope that Rev. Robertson’s “700 Club” would be cancelled any time soon, He did say, somewhat ruefully, “If Pat Robertson were on NBC he’d be replaced by Jay Leno by now.” More here.
For real-time fake news updates, go to http://twitter.com/BorowitzReport
DETROIT (The Borowitz Report) – General Motors’ decision yesterday to stop manufacturing Hummers has struck at the heart of the group who loved the vehicles most: America’s assholes. Across t... [ + ]
SILICON VALLEY (The Borowitz Report) – A new social network is about to alter the playing field of the social media world, and it’s called PhoneBook. According to its creators, who invented the... [ + ]
Andy Borowitz live in New York, 7/2/09
Your complete roundup of the many occurrences of Dick Cheney.
Andy Borowitz discusses the struggle to make politically correct punchlines