CUPERTINO (The Borowitz Report) – In the same week that it launched its much-touted iPad, Apple introduced its latest game-changer to the tech marketplace, a text-sharing device called the CoTex.

“There are a lot of texting devices out there that can absorb data,” said Apple founder Steve Jobs.  “But nothing absorbs more than a CoTex.”

Mr. Jobs said that when used in conjunction with Apple’s just-released mobile device, the AllWays StayFree, “the CoTex has what it takes to handle a heavy flow of information.”

When asked about the flurry of new products that Apple has released at the end of January, Mr. Jobs mused, “I guess it’s that time of the month.”

Elsewhere, a new poll shows that 90 percent of Republicans who did not hear President Obama’s State of the Union address disagreed with it.  More here.

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