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Toyota Unveils New Slogan: “Drive a Toyota. You’ll Never Stop.”

Hopes to Reverse Public Relations Setbacks

Toyota Says Cup Holders Still Working Great

Rest Your Beverages With Confidence, Says Carmaker

Chris Matthews Sees Avatar; Forgets Characters are Blue

Host Attempts to Explain Latest Remarks

Hollywood Eager to Finally Fuck Up ‘Catcher in the Rye’

Producers Scramble to Wreck Masterpiece

Apple Launches Text-sharing Device, the CoTex

Absorbs Heavy Flow of Data, Says Jobs

Obama Opposes Pants on the Ground

State of the Union Address Leaked

Bin Laden Claims Responsibility for Balloon Boy Hoax

CIA Analyzing Latest Terror Tape

Pat Robertson ‘A Public Relations Nightmare,’ Says God

Almighty Holds Rare Press Conference

Pat Robertson: Haiti?! I Thought They Said “Hades”

Televangelist Explains Misunderstanding

Blago Defends Remarks: ‘It’s a Black Thing, You Wouldn’t Understand’

Calls Self ‘Blackest Man in America'


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