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Zelenskyy Suggests Trump Give Florida to Russia
"Florida should be on the table,” Zelenskyy said. “With Florida, you have cards.”
 • Andy Borowitz
Zuckerberg Rethinks Meta Policy After Community Notes Call Him a Sociopath
Community notes also favored jerkwad, asshat, and tool.
 • Andy Borowitz
Trump’s War on Laughter Will Bite Him in the Ass
He hasn't thought this through.
 • Andy Borowitz
What Happens Now?
The mainstream media say Trump is unstoppable. They're wrong.
 • Andy Borowitz
A New Declaration of Independence from Tyranny
Effective July 4, 2025
 • Andy Borowitz
Sorry, Loser!
As long as there's a First Amendment, I plan to enjoy it.
 • Andy Borowitz
Obama Posts Video of Trump Actually Getting Arrested in Real Life
“To be honest, I wanted to come up with some kind of crazy AI video to respond to his, but I’m no good with all of that tech stuff,” Obama said.
 • Andy Borowitz
Russian Lures Confused Old Man to Alaska in Elder Scam
“We’re afraid the Russian will trick him into signing something away," said an associate of the geriatric dupe.
 • Andy Borowitz
Trump Will Lose His War on Laughter
Comedy is his kryptonite.
 • Andy Borowitz
Turning off the News
It's time to break up with the mainstream media.
 • Andy Borowitz
Zelenskyy Agrees to Hold Immediate Election and Run for President of United States
“I will gladly relocate from Ukraine to do the job.”
 • Andy Borowitz
Massive Computer Error by DOGE Donates Musk’s Entire Fortune to Save the Children
The teenager who made the error apologized to Musk, whose net worth now stands at zero dollars.
 • Andy Borowitz
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