<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><urlset xmlns="http://www.sitemaps.org/schemas/sitemap/0.9" xmlns:news="http://www.google.com/schemas/sitemap-news/0.9"><url><loc>https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/ayatollahs-art-of-the-deal-becomes</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Borowitz Report</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-06-17T11:03:50+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Ayatollah’s ‘Art of the Deal’ Becomes #1 Bestseller</news:title></news:news></url><url><loc>https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/iran-agrees-to-end-war-in-exchange</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>The Borowitz Report</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-06-16T11:02:23+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Iran Agrees to End War in Exchange for Never Having to Talk to JD Vance Again</news:title></news:news></url></urlset>