2025 Canceled by Popular Demand

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (The Borowitz Report)—In what experts are calling an unprecedented move, on Wednesday the year 2025 was canceled by popular demand.

“There was widespread support for this,” said Harland Dorrinson, who led the movement to dispense with the year. “One day in, it’s clear that 2025 was a terrible idea.”

“Let’s just move on to 2026 and…