The Borowitz Report

The Borowitz Report

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The Borowitz Report
The Borowitz Report
A New Declaration of Independence from Tyranny

A New Declaration of Independence from Tyranny

Effective July 4, 2025

Jul 04, 2025
∙ Paid
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The Borowitz Report
The Borowitz Report
A New Declaration of Independence from Tyranny
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Allison Robbert/AFP via Getty Images

When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for a people to break from a leader who governs with cruelty, contempt, and corruption, they should declare the causes that impel them to separate.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all people are created equal, endowed with inherent dignity and unalie…

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