Ayatollah’s ‘Art of the Deal’ Becomes #1 Bestseller

TEHRAN (The Borowitz Report)—In an astounding achievement for a first-time author, on Wednesday Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei nabbed the #1 spot on the New York Times bestsellers list with a business book entitled The Art of the Deal.

The publicity materials provided by the publisher tout, “From the mind of a man who negotiated the sweetest deal in the history of the Middle East, learn how to fend off a hostile takeover—and win!”

“Don’t just be a leader,” the book jacket urges. “Be a Supreme one!”

Among the topics covered, the book “shows, in five easy steps, how to turn a tiny body of water into a money-spinning goldmine.”

An advance excerpt from the book’s first chapter begins, “Rule #1: Only negotiate with morons.”