154 Comments
User's avatar
Andy Borowitz's avatar

For those of you wondering whether Barron is fair game, he is. Read this: https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/barron-trump-secretly-devoted-twisted-060618579.html

LiverpoolFCfan's avatar

Barron's look reminds us of what happens when both of your parents are intellectually disabled.

Annette's avatar

true story! I feel sad for him, but he's legally an adult now. Unfortunately, the choices he makes and the company he keeps will only serve to continue this toxic cycle of misogyny.

Jonathan Aborn's avatar

The kid never had a chance. Money will never buy enough therapy to fix that dude. Sad.

Michael Spiegler's avatar

Both parents are intellectually (and morally) disabled.

Dana Campbell's avatar

In this photo he looks like a member of the Addams family! No surprise.

Pradnya Sikand's avatar

Never mind about Barron! Nobody cares ! But you’re the best Andy ! 😉Thanks for the Monday morning chuckle! 😂❤️

It's Come To This's avatar

In the middle of all this ghastliness, somehow Andy finds a way to make me laugh…!

Sean M Carlin's avatar

The grifting Trump family would never do anything as noble as fighting for their current country. That is left for we , the “suckers and losers” to do.

Annette's avatar

Let's change that, then. Let's get an amendment into the constitution that states that members of congress will enlist all their children, of appropriate age, into any war that is initiated by either the president or congress themselves. Get your backpacks ready, Don Jr., Eric, Barron.

Robot Bender's avatar

I'm all for mandatory civil or military service for all teens.

Annette's avatar

I like that you listed either civil or military service and for that reason, I agree.

Wis's avatar

How about we simply cancel this war and all wars trump starts without congressional support and oversight, because they are illegal and unconstitutional in the first place.

Annette's avatar
28mEdited

I agree . . . yet those in Congress, on the retrumplican side, seem to think he knows what he's doing. However, from Kegsbreath's briefing this morning, it appears that NO ONE knows what they're doing and they can't seem to get their lies straight. So here we are, once again.

Wis's avatar

It’s still earlyish here and I haven’t seen Pigsbreath’s briefing yet. Sounds like something to look forward to. NOT! (As Wayne and Garth would say.)

Annette's avatar

definitely not, Wis - I would save yourself the agony - tRump will be speaking soon and he'll have lies aplenty for everyone (Kegsbreath just looked like he was getting off on the whole situation, but his condescending comment to a female reporter at the end is what honked me off royally)

Suessl's avatar

Check out that hairline. Did Barron already get a hair transplant?

Annette's avatar

I'm not sure at what point the slicked back hair becomes nasty cotton candy

Empennage's avatar

🤔 Perhaps the military will take care of his "hair-don't."

Jerr's avatar

July 1971, we are marched to the barber shop, a kid with hair down halfway down his back is really getting nervous. In the chair he tells the barber just a little off the top. After many trips across his head, he gets out of the chair with tears in his eyes, but somehow that barber had left 1 long strand of hair right on top. The rest of us baldies laughed our asses off.

Annette's avatar

This article is deeply disturbing, yet highly illuminative, in terms of the attitude that tRump maintains towards women.

"Andrew Tate told reporters . . . “I’m very close with the Trump family. I know them well,” he said at the time. “I look forward to, once I am free, being with Donald Trump in person and reminding him that he’s a bulletproof badass.”"

But the person holding the most blame in having their son associate with these neanderthals is Melanoma. Sadly, she just serves as another example of the type of woman her husband surrounds himself with; those that condone this violent and misogynistic behavior. There is no "be best" option in this situation.

Linda Mitchell, KCMO's avatar

He's also very much on the spectrum which I imagine also affects his public demeanor and mien, and which is not his fault. And being raised by Melanoma and Metamucilini has to have been traumatic.

Lee Hodo's avatar

He wasn’t raised by Mr & Mrs Trump. He was raised by nannies, private schools and Count Dracula.

DebbieM (OH)'s avatar

I'm not sure what that article has to do with Barron's eligibility for the military, but he will NEVER have to serve. His daddy will make sure of that.

Annette's avatar

slight amendment . . . his mommy will make sure of that. His daddy barely knows Barron exists, unless its to help him with his reelection campaigns.

Autumn Mich's avatar

Am I the only one who thinks Barron looks like Lurch in The Munsters? What a vacuous, yet evil, toad. Apt offspring for the Pedophile-in-Chief

Rosemary Ehle's avatar

A toad in a gilded cage.....looks like his hair is thinning right where the Eddie Munster mojo would be going on. Get him to a stylist stat!

Annette's avatar

I agree . . . how many times does he come into a room asking, "you rang?"

bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

Of course he's fair game. He's a member of the Trump family.

Suzie's avatar

The reason the Trump boys and their sycophants are so enamored with protecting sex trafficking and pedophiles, Is because they are all so ugly NO one would voluntarily have sex with them.

Glenn Sills's avatar

Yep. Whining rich people need to take the good with the bad.

Cindy's avatar

Not a good excuse.

misia.d's avatar

ouch, ouch, OUCH!

Kim D's avatar

After reading that article about Barron and Andrew Tate, I was reminded of Tom Cruise's character Frank Mackey in "Magnolia." I wondered if Paul Thomas Anderson had Tate in mind when he created Mackey so I looked into it. Sure enough, just a year ago James A. Cosby wrote this for Bright Lights Film Journal:

In Magnolia, Tom Cruise Far Outperformed Real-Life Andrew Tate

https://brightlightsfilm.com/tom-cruise-far-outperformed-andrew-tate-in-magnolia/

Michele White's avatar

Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it????

Wis's avatar

Oh, gross! After reading the yahoo article, I hope Barron’s conniption fits over his lack of bone spurs reveal a weak heart, alarming the doctors when they further examine him to discover that he only has weeks to live.

Patrick Hughes's avatar

Hey GOP

Sacrifice your Sons to

Operation Epstein Distraction

You already Sacrificed

Your Daughters

Annette's avatar

excellent comment!

Kim D's avatar

Cooperation Epstein Bury

Jim Carmichael's avatar

Andy, Your timing is flawless. (What’s with his hairline?)

BTAM Master's avatar

He shaved it so he won't look like Eddie Munster.

Kathy Treftz's avatar

When I saw the picture I was immediately reminded of Eddie Munster.

Wis's avatar

He failed. He looks exactly like Eddie Munster.

Paul Ehrenzeller's avatar

Bone spurs are between the ears-in all of the Trump children!

Amruta R Eswara's avatar

he said. "I should have just sent the kid to my new Surgeon General." That would do it! Bone spurs could come up even on brain , if there is one ……😋

Lucy K.'s avatar

Ha! Wrong Dr for sure. DJT can create an executive order establishing the R&PE Act, (Rich & Powerful Exemption) Act. It exists off the books anyway.

I’m afraid he’ll recruit immigrants in detention centers to go fight instead.

Sunondo Roy's avatar

You know, get rid of the & and put in And and the acronym will stick better for the Drumpf cabal.

Lucy K.'s avatar

Yes that would've been better, I just left it to the imagination. 😉

Wis's avatar
1hEdited

Lucy: If trump does this, I hope all the immigrants simply sit down on the tarmac upon landing in Iran and refuse to fight for the US.

Cheryl Schwartz's avatar

Hilarious! Way to start my week with laughter! Thank you, Andy! You’ve done it again! 😹

Sue T's avatar

Trump needs to put his money where his mouth is, and send Barron to fight his father's war. If the King of England's sons can do it, then it's time for Barron to enlist for active duty. Has any Trump served?

Roland Saeger's avatar

DJT's grandfather left Germany to avoid military service. That trait has been passed down through the generations.

Jim Dygert's avatar

You are kidding..right?

Octavia Redwood's avatar

they've all certainly have BEEN served

Empennage's avatar

I believe any leader who arbitrarily bombs or starts a war with another country should have personal skin in the game; skin they are scared to death to lose if their capricious decision goes south. Sadly, we know the felon couldn't care less about anyone other than himself, so perhaps HE should be the loss in this latest horrific act. Loss of his wealth and power, position and movement. My apologies for being so dark...

Frances López's avatar

No apologies needed. We are in dark times.

Annette's avatar

exactly, Empennage and Frances . . . dark times indeed

Bonnie Lieberman's avatar

and to think I awoke without a smile, but I read your posts and I laughed so hard, I nearly fell off my rocker. Trump one-upped me. He did fall off his rocker, not from laughing tho.

Erik Bruun's avatar

Funny. Not sure how I feel about roasting Barron who didn't pick his parents), but still, funny.

Empennage's avatar

geesh . . . utterly disappointing and unsurprising at the same time. Surely I'm not the only one who had hoped for "better" from one of the offspring?

Annette's avatar

it must be a dominant gene within the tRump pool

bruce schneider's avatar

Barron (Barron?) looks too clueless to roast and hasn't done anything yet. Don Jr and the other idiot, on the other hand...

Annette's avatar

I've heard Coke Jr. and Dumbest Dumber are considering a move to Canada -- good luck with that, boys!

Al Gorythm's avatar

Why practice when you can preach?

Annette's avatar

I'm borrowing your comment!

Amy 0415's avatar

Another wickedly funny gem. Thanks, Andy. 😂😂😂😂😂

Nancy Dafoe's avatar

She was magnificent as usual. Trump, well, he appears to be a madman, incompetent, ignorant, petty, jealous, foul, treasonous on top of his pedophilia and racism.

Lorenzo's avatar

Apropos of Cadet Bone Spurs, MTG quoted Lord Farrquaad in Shrek: "Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make".

Annette's avatar

excellent quote!!

Sue Tuttle's avatar

LOL! AM I the only one who thinks this kid looks like a Dracula wanna be?? Creepfest.

Annette's avatar

have we ever seen him in the daylight?