Biden Offers to Pardon Commander if he Bites Kristi Noem
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—President Biden stirred controversy on Wednesday by offering his dog Commander a sweeping pardon in exchange for biting South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem.
“You’ll be a hero to dogs everywhere,” Biden told the German Shepherd. “Go for it, champ.”
Biden said he was unconcerned about any legal blowba…