And Kashyap has already fired FBI agents involved with the raid at Mar-A-Lardo. He was heard muttering, "Take that people who criticized me for being in the men's locker room at the Olympics. I had as much right to be there as anyone . . . I mean as much right as Jay Deviance or RFK, Jr. to be there. I'll show you I'm not just a little bugged-eyed pipsqueak who has to personally fly in big jets to prove my manhood."
When I heard that Popeye’s has added seafood to its menu, I had to check and … Yes! You can now buy Pop-eyed shrimp in your neighborhood! Do you think they did that ‘just’ to honor the FBI director?
But since she doesn’t understand how to read it, behind the ticker scrolling on her iPad is the webpage Bondi was really reading, a Cosmo article on makeup tips.
Millions-6.5 million pages of evidence and testimony and they haul in Hillary for 6 hours, who isn’t mentioned, zero Repubs show up for Wexnar’s hearing and one who is mentioned 38,000x’s along with his 3rd wife, is trying to figure out how to steal our vote and Repubs are baffled they are called idiots.
Or ‘points’ … but never dollars. And she’s plenty old enough to remember when prices were quoted in eighths ‘of a dollar’ … but perhaps she gets a pass because, like C. elegans, she has very few memory cells. Ya think?
Oh ouch. I wouldn’t wish that nasty condition on anyone, except the residents (and appointed staffers) of the now-Gray House. It almost killed my mother.
Hmmmm, makes me wonder what IS on Blondie's desk. Uncashed checks for "services rendered" drawn on tRump's personal account? A list of all the victims that was distributed to the redacting crew, with the notation "hit or miss, if some of these slip through the Sharpie, its not a problem." A copy of "Become a Lawyer in 21 Days." Her 401K statements and a listing of stock purchases made in the past three months. Oh, the places you could go!
Though the actual Dr Seuss book, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go” she received last Christmas from her well-meaning mother was too hard for Pam to follow, so it’s now propping up a wobbly desk in her office. The wobbly chair is being propped up by the confiscated copy of the Constitution seized from the fired DOJ employee.
Ah, Wis, good to know those books are serving a noble purpose. Now if we could just trap her under that desk and/or chair, to READ those books, we'd be getting somewhere. I'm sure someone will be needed to read the big words to her.
After the incident with the DOJ employee, Bondi decided there needed to be a task force of republicans to shred the old Constitution and replace it with a more accurate yet simple document. She appointed top Republican comic book artists to create an easy-to-understand, much shorter “trumpman” picture book: a series of cartoon panels that show trump and his appointees heroically pulling down the Statue of Liberty to put up the golden idol of trump. The only words are in a collective comment bubble rising from the trumpers working together to remove Lady Liberty from her foundation: “TRUMP IS THE LAW OF THE LAND!” they cry.
This new Constitution of the United States will be memo’d to all government employees as an attachment to their next paychecks with the instructions to obey the document or lose future paychecks permanently.
Wis, I shuddered when I read your post! Because in this entire dumpster fire of an administration, I can actually picture this happening. And I can imagine one cartoon panel a drawing of tRump with blue leotards and a red cape, flying around his statue. Now I'm really scared! :-S
Very realistic imagery - but what terrible place did your imagination have to go to get to that place? The craziest part is that upon reading your scenario, I could clearly visualize what you described! Truth and fiction are becoming trickier and trickier to discern between.
My imagination knows no bounds, which can be disturbing (to me, too!) But that is SO true! Satire and reality often are competing as to which is more believable, which is likely to be true, and whether to laugh at what you're reading - or weep. Reality is as absurd or more absurd than satire, and has been since 1/20/26 (well, before that, but I use the date for effect ;P). Andy's articles often get mistaken as newsy-news and go mainstream, because reality is *just* that outrageous these days.
I picture Klaus Bondi as the giant-headed dwarf in Alice Through the Looking Glass, à la Helena Bonham Carter, running through DOJ on little squeaky wheels, passing office after office, going OFF WITH HIS HEAD! OFF WITH HER HEAD!
Excellent report, love it! 😄 Bondi’s position is becoming less & less secure as the excellent survivor support team (Garcia & Khanna in particular) close in on her. Can’t wait to say adios to that DJT stooge!
my pleasure . . . but I just said the quiet part out loud. We're all rooting for those crime fighters to get the respect and recognition they deserve. As for tRump's toadies, they deserve less than nothing, and by that, I mean jail time.
I am NOT sorry about Charlie Kirk -- is it safe for me to write this? Poor old Ben....he was just a token. As for Rudy--may he continue to search for locations where he can make a fool out of himself--and temporary hair coloring which drips down his aging ugly face.
Why only the New, and why not simply require the heavily redacted version - but electronic so that it can keep up with the daily additional redactions?
Love it! A heavily-redacted Bible. And if we include the Old Testament, lets be sure to heavily redact folks like the Prophet Micah. You know, the guy who suggested that when it came right down to it, all God really wants from us -- and all leaders of the nations -- is to "act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God."
This one deserves a gold medal. It's on the razor fine edge between present-day reality and satire and I'm so grateful you can still make me laugh, because it's not easy these days. Thanks !
Really? OMG! I wonder who told Bondi what the document (read: constitution) was. I am sure she had no idea as, judging by her lame-brained behaviors, she certainly has never read it herself. It's reassuring that at least someone at the DOJ would recognize the US Constitution.
I have actually been keeping a small copy beside my chair and refreshing my knowledge. I always remember the biggies, but there are some amendments I had forgotten. I am waiting for the one that says "no person who has been convicted of a felony shall be allowed to run for public office"
....apologies: I just had to spend an irritating amount of coin of the bedlam to put new tire sensors on my decrepit van! Ah: Decrepitude of Justice. That's it. Finished.
Yes, we are bearing the cost of those bloody tariffs. I've long purchased beautiful leather gloves for gifts from Martelli's in Florence. I ordered two pair in November and got a notice from UPS that I had to have a check ready for $43.71 when they arrived to deliver them to pay the tariff. If not, I could not get the order. Tariff was about 25% of the purchase. I sent an email to the store explaining that I would not be buying as often as usual due to our idiotic leader. I received a charming response of understanding. I wonder if anyone else has had this experience.
A copy of the Constitution, much like Epstein’s client list, is something Pam does not have on her desk.
Happy Thursday Andy! The Constitution has been heavily redacted and stashed in a gold plated bathroom at Mar-a- Lago ! 😂💕
Trump is going to sell golden toilet paper with the Constitution printed on it.
With a gold phone thrown in…
I've heard the toilet paper will be folded and tucked into a cut-out in each of the tRump bibles.
Cleanliness is next to Godliness, Annette
Amen! :)
--or used as bookmarks? With his picture on them?
Shouldn't be giving him ideas!
Who wouldn't buy toilet paper with the Orange Turd's picture on it?
that come with trump steaks and wine
yes, but be sure to check the expiration dates!
he has a gold phone FOR the thrown, the golden thrown it has a seat that RFK JR. does lines on
That would be throne, not thrown!
I see what you did there!!
Would almost believe it......
Nope, Trump doesn't throw anything in; sadly, not even the towel. You will pay dearly for the phone, in cash, or watch out for your next merger.
true story!
--or a gilded ketchup bottle also thrown.....
Why not? He probably can't understand it anyway!
What will he call his toilet paper? The Golden Constipation?
And Kashyap has already fired FBI agents involved with the raid at Mar-A-Lardo. He was heard muttering, "Take that people who criticized me for being in the men's locker room at the Olympics. I had as much right to be there as anyone . . . I mean as much right as Jay Deviance or RFK, Jr. to be there. I'll show you I'm not just a little bugged-eyed pipsqueak who has to personally fly in big jets to prove my manhood."
The ‘just’ (in “I’m not just …”) is doing a lot of work in that sentence, isn’t it?
LOL . . . thank you for pointing that out, Clym. I could have put the period right before the "a little bugged-eyed pipsqueak"
When I heard that Popeye’s has added seafood to its menu, I had to check and … Yes! You can now buy Pop-eyed shrimp in your neighborhood! Do you think they did that ‘just’ to honor the FBI director?
Indubitably!
LOL..good one, Clym
it's possible, but I'm sure RFK, Jr. will be all over that processed food!
"--and so what if a hockey stick is taller than me?"
what if a 9-year old is taller than me . . . AND smarter than me!
I saw yesterday that one of them is running for office in
Maryland. He looks and sounds great. Hope he wins!
Yeah! I hope he wins!
--or hidden behind all the marble in the Lincoln Room bathroom--so the ghost of old Abe can't find it!
Agree. Amazing how Bondi could go from no list to thousands and thousands of pages to be redacted
she actually tripped over stacks of paper on her way to her desk, which was bare except for a pen, a comb and an iPad set on the Dow Jones ticker page
But since she doesn’t understand how to read it, behind the ticker scrolling on her iPad is the webpage Bondi was really reading, a Cosmo article on makeup tips.
too bad she hasn't tried any tips . . . she could use a little moisturizer.
She could use a vacation, too. I hear the waters off Cuba and Venezuela have some great fishing.
ROFL - "wear bright colored clothing"
A permanent vacation..😏
--and Neuriva for her brain!
wtf is that??😯
Yeah, they had to read her the burn book..,
Hysterical.
Millions-6.5 million pages of evidence and testimony and they haul in Hillary for 6 hours, who isn’t mentioned, zero Repubs show up for Wexnar’s hearing and one who is mentioned 38,000x’s along with his 3rd wife, is trying to figure out how to steal our vote and Repubs are baffled they are called idiots.
I don’t doubt it. So many big words! So difficult to pronounce! Even more difficult to understand!
Hey-babe-us-core-puss....damn, a tough one.
Have-a-corpse-us?
🥳😂
The lady is as transparent as C. elegans, but not quite as useful
Pam is a real worm though!
but she knows her Dow Jones numbers!
Or ‘points’ … but never dollars. And she’s plenty old enough to remember when prices were quoted in eighths ‘of a dollar’ … but perhaps she gets a pass because, like C. elegans, she has very few memory cells. Ya think?
yup
And her boss: C. Dificile!
Oh ouch. I wouldn’t wish that nasty condition on anyone, except the residents (and appointed staffers) of the now-Gray House. It almost killed my mother.
Nicely done, Denise. Spoiler alert: the ‘C.’ does NOT stand for ‘Clym’; I’m not difficult and definitely not elegant
Hmmmm, makes me wonder what IS on Blondie's desk. Uncashed checks for "services rendered" drawn on tRump's personal account? A list of all the victims that was distributed to the redacting crew, with the notation "hit or miss, if some of these slip through the Sharpie, its not a problem." A copy of "Become a Lawyer in 21 Days." Her 401K statements and a listing of stock purchases made in the past three months. Oh, the places you could go!
Though the actual Dr Seuss book, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go” she received last Christmas from her well-meaning mother was too hard for Pam to follow, so it’s now propping up a wobbly desk in her office. The wobbly chair is being propped up by the confiscated copy of the Constitution seized from the fired DOJ employee.
Ah, Wis, good to know those books are serving a noble purpose. Now if we could just trap her under that desk and/or chair, to READ those books, we'd be getting somewhere. I'm sure someone will be needed to read the big words to her.
'Become a Lawyer in 21 Days'--funnyfunny. It occurs to me that maybe she could mentor Kim Kardashian?
Oh Lawd . . . the Kartrashians are the last people that should have anything to do with the government, or the law, or entertainment, for that matter
I agree. Kim just failed the bar again....probably the silicone was leaking and affected blood supply to her already minuscule brain.
and her corset was too tight
the uncashed checks are stamped "Stop Payment"
Well-done, Annette!
After the incident with the DOJ employee, Bondi decided there needed to be a task force of republicans to shred the old Constitution and replace it with a more accurate yet simple document. She appointed top Republican comic book artists to create an easy-to-understand, much shorter “trumpman” picture book: a series of cartoon panels that show trump and his appointees heroically pulling down the Statue of Liberty to put up the golden idol of trump. The only words are in a collective comment bubble rising from the trumpers working together to remove Lady Liberty from her foundation: “TRUMP IS THE LAW OF THE LAND!” they cry.
This new Constitution of the United States will be memo’d to all government employees as an attachment to their next paychecks with the instructions to obey the document or lose future paychecks permanently.
Wis, I shuddered when I read your post! Because in this entire dumpster fire of an administration, I can actually picture this happening. And I can imagine one cartoon panel a drawing of tRump with blue leotards and a red cape, flying around his statue. Now I'm really scared! :-S
Trump in leotards? The visuals are frying my brain! Aaaaaah!
Trump in leotards doing ballet at the Trump-Kennedy center! Triple Aaaaaah!
during the showing of "Melanoma" . . . for an audience of three
great, another image I'll have to discuss in therapy (LOL)
Me too.
Triggering.
Impressive, Wis! Especially the part about remembering ‘paychecks’ … and paper in general … lol
It was an emailed memo! 😉
Hey bro: didja ever stand in line to collect your pay in cash? I did
Actually, no. Except maybe when I was a janitor at HP - but I don’t remember for sure.
The good ol’days. Har
Very realistic imagery - but what terrible place did your imagination have to go to get to that place? The craziest part is that upon reading your scenario, I could clearly visualize what you described! Truth and fiction are becoming trickier and trickier to discern between.
My imagination knows no bounds, which can be disturbing (to me, too!) But that is SO true! Satire and reality often are competing as to which is more believable, which is likely to be true, and whether to laugh at what you're reading - or weep. Reality is as absurd or more absurd than satire, and has been since 1/20/26 (well, before that, but I use the date for effect ;P). Andy's articles often get mistaken as newsy-news and go mainstream, because reality is *just* that outrageous these days.
Reading my graphic novel mind. I can think of so many things to create once we aren’t fearful. Watching all the time.
Too tragic for a “like,” buddy.
I thought Trump made white trash look bad but…. Pam is in a class of her own
The "No-Class" class!
I picture Klaus Bondi as the giant-headed dwarf in Alice Through the Looking Glass, à la Helena Bonham Carter, running through DOJ on little squeaky wheels, passing office after office, going OFF WITH HIS HEAD! OFF WITH HER HEAD!
hehehe... love that thought - the heart-shaped lipstick would be replaced by a big red X
I LOVE YOU, ANDY BOROWITZ!!!
--or anywhere inside her blonde head!
No, it's there. She just uses it as landing zone for her coffee cup. It's larger and more absorbent than a normal coaster.
LOLOLOLOL
For real?
I do have a copy on my coffee table. I hope they don’t raid me.
Put some kind of "porn" picture on the cover and you might be get by with it. . .
(Child porn, and a for sure positive response).
I keep one on the end table next to my recliner.
I have a paperback pocketsize version of Declaration of Independence which I carry with me. You never know......
If they do, don't bother asking for a warrant!
Andy- brilliant but obviously a fake story.
As everyone knows, Pam Bondi would never recognize a copy of the U.S. Constitution!
Child pornography is probably okay on DOJ work computers. The Constitution is NSFW, though, at the DOJ.
I'm sure Blondie has broken up many a water cooler conversation with people sharing their copies of the Constitution, pointing out key sentences.
Excellent report, love it! 😄 Bondi’s position is becoming less & less secure as the excellent survivor support team (Garcia & Khanna in particular) close in on her. Can’t wait to say adios to that DJT stooge!
I hope Massie and Khanna get the Presidential Medal of Freedom before Charlie Kirk, Rudy Giuliani and Ben Carson.
Annette, I love how you combined so many unspoken hopes in that clever comment. Thank you!
my pleasure . . . but I just said the quiet part out loud. We're all rooting for those crime fighters to get the respect and recognition they deserve. As for tRump's toadies, they deserve less than nothing, and by that, I mean jail time.
I am NOT sorry about Charlie Kirk -- is it safe for me to write this? Poor old Ben....he was just a token. As for Rudy--may he continue to search for locations where he can make a fool out of himself--and temporary hair coloring which drips down his aging ugly face.
Not why trumpy is president or any other republican
a gal can hope!
Never give up hope or we loose
Bondi later announced that anybody caught with a copy of THE BILL OF RIGHTS in their possession would also be terminated!
or she'll have Krusti Gnome shoot them.
Krusti Gnome...I'm 'borrowing' that... lol
please help yourself; I have other names for her, but they're not for polite society
--or that child relative given a gun when very young?
oh yes, her granddaughter . . . what a great idea
Remember all those great Loony Tunes where a saw pops up out of the floor intent on bringing down (literally!) the protagonist?
It’s saw time in D.C.
--as well as "ax time".
Also on the Republican Party's ban list: Any Bible that includes the New Testament.
Only Trump Bible is acceptable
I heard he changed Jesus' name to Jesus Trump
Trump Jesus
Jesus of Maralago
--who tries to walk on the Atlantic and sinks like a stone!
Jesus of America, and the Western Hemisphere
--while everyone else proclaims, "Oh Jesus, Trump!"
That is terrific, Brenda. LOL
LOL
Or that includes laws in Leviticus & Deuteronomy protecting immigrants.
Deuteronomy- is that like the angles and hipponotuse stuff?
I flunked that in high school
I'm so sorry that I miss you all by 5 or 6 hours
way out here in Emerald country. You're such fun
TBR is a place for fun, and venting, and confirmation that we're not all off our rockers!
Isn't it? So glad I found it!
Trump seems to work his angles without all that stuff!
😂😂😂
allright you guys. Enough lol
Why only the New, and why not simply require the heavily redacted version - but electronic so that it can keep up with the daily additional redactions?
Love it! A heavily-redacted Bible. And if we include the Old Testament, lets be sure to heavily redact folks like the Prophet Micah. You know, the guy who suggested that when it came right down to it, all God really wants from us -- and all leaders of the nations -- is to "act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God."
--or, if in a Bible, you'll be fired at the DOJ for reading it.....
That was funny! Whenever I see these clowns' names in print I think of the Nuremberg trials. Their day will come.
🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼
From your keyboard up to God's ears!
This one deserves a gold medal. It's on the razor fine edge between present-day reality and satire and I'm so grateful you can still make me laugh, because it's not easy these days. Thanks !
We definitely have gone through the looking glass.
--with a big crash!
Really? OMG! I wonder who told Bondi what the document (read: constitution) was. I am sure she had no idea as, judging by her lame-brained behaviors, she certainly has never read it herself. It's reassuring that at least someone at the DOJ would recognize the US Constitution.
Bondi slept through Constitutional Law in law school. And apparently, so did the SCOTUS six...
Excellent, and it sums things up well.
I have actually been keeping a small copy beside my chair and refreshing my knowledge. I always remember the biggies, but there are some amendments I had forgotten. I am waiting for the one that says "no person who has been convicted of a felony shall be allowed to run for public office"
I am fine with felons running for office. What has depressed me for months, is why anyone, let alone millions, would vote for one.
YES!!
We wait in vain......
I see the Dow jumped $300 on that news. What greater proof is there that all is copacetic?
☝️🩵
--which rhymes with pathetic!
I think the DOJ is now the Dodging of Justice.
or Degradation of Justice
Denial of Justice.
YES! All of the above!
Deterioration of Justice
Defecation of Justice
Decay of Justice
....apologies: I just had to spend an irritating amount of coin of the bedlam to put new tire sensors on my decrepit van! Ah: Decrepitude of Justice. That's it. Finished.
appreciate the additional suggestions, and thoughts and prayers to you for the tire sensors. I'm sure they're more expensive because of tariffs.
Yes, we are bearing the cost of those bloody tariffs. I've long purchased beautiful leather gloves for gifts from Martelli's in Florence. I ordered two pair in November and got a notice from UPS that I had to have a check ready for $43.71 when they arrived to deliver them to pay the tariff. If not, I could not get the order. Tariff was about 25% of the purchase. I sent an email to the store explaining that I would not be buying as often as usual due to our idiotic leader. I received a charming response of understanding. I wonder if anyone else has had this experience.
Wow. Sez it all in a nutshell (with all due respect to law-abiding nuts everywhere). You nailed it.