So bad that Trump and his regime are drowning in their own lies, stupidity and arrogance in the face of an adversary that is even more cynical and vicious than Trump.
Confronted by an Iranian opposition that is smarter, more clear eyed and less demented, Tump is now the chump.
It would take only a handful of repubs in congress to (wo)man up, put their cowardly, selfish fears aside and do the right thing. Face it, you self-serving traitors—you stand a good chance of losing your seats in the midterms regardless—and so much better to exit with honor than continue to contribute to democracy’s demise. You all know you are enabling a sick madman. You KNOW that the right thing to do is to come down on the right side. There are still millions of Americans who genuinely love and care for this country. They are your constituents, just as much the deluded MAGAs you are pandering to.
I agree wholeheartedly, Jan, but I don't believe any of them have the right to exit with honor, given they've allowed this abuse of power and chaos to go on as long as it has.
Better to be thrown out of office, if the electorate is so inclined, than to be a toady and accept all the illegalities that go along with trump and his in crowd. Better to be under the bus than on top of the trump hurricane.
In the Trump administration, being thrown under the bus is to be ejected from the depraved madness. My guess is that half of them wish it was their turn. At least they could move to another country and claim asylum. Those who remain loyal no matter what will follow Trump to jail.
Helpless? What's the down side? Unless he has damaging info on them like crimes committed, what can he do? Get them primaried out of a job they in fact aren't doing anyway? Get them ousted from a do nothing waste of a Party? They should do what is morally, ethically and legally correct and boot the dangerous, unstable, criminal out of office.
At last the dream of Grover Norquist can be realized, "I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub,” finally government has been reduced to the whims of one pathetic man, which would readily fit in an oversized bathtub, the lathered spume of his make-up will be toxic, Grover, Grover where are you be sure to wear gloves.
What does it say about me to actuallly laugh out loud at this.... love this ...now more of the brilliant comments will make my day..as always thank you
I think it was indicative of who is REALLY running that clown show--the "Red Sparrow" is making clear she controls the clicker on Trumpy's shock collar.
EXACTLY. A few weeks ago I wondered when they'd pivot back to Epstein (but I was being facetious!) because I knew this war would go SOOOO south. Unfreakinreal.
Andy, You’ve nailed it with Bilesian precision this morning! Brilliant and hilarious! 😂The Iran war is an unmitigated disaster if it has forced our vagulous, inarticulate, pouty, I-don’t- care First Lady to put out such a cogent statement! 😂💕 We needed this ! Thanks ! 💕
That's a possibility. He seems to like new shiny objects though. Hey, here's thought - how about he spend some time doing his JOB??? he's got a whole agency still shut down, for instance.
I think that is the problem, Dawn He thinks he's doing has job, magnificently. But as the poster child for ADD, he drops a firecracker in a theater, then moves along to the next when he gets bored or criticized.
Are the rats starting to desert the sinking ship?? Bannon has had his record expunged-he had said he was worried about going back to jail. The poster boy for the regime has the doors to the Treasury thrown open to anyone seeking a pardon and a payout, including himself. Bessent is quickly destroying the economy as a last push for p25. Kegsbreath is dismantling the military. We need to keep pushing against them all everywhere we can.
Actually, Robert Reich's post this morning suggests he is not happy with the extreme level of loss: over 100 million. Never underestimate the greed of a malignant narcissist twerp like Bezos.
It’s time for Melania to release her inner Mary Tudor and fuck him to death just as MT did Louis XII of France. A subarachnoid hematoma is a much more pleasant culmination than Donny Two Dolls deserves but between justice and survival … I prefer the latter.
Background: Mary was the comely baby sister of Henry VIII who, despite being in love with his close friend Charles Brandon, acceded to marrying the aged King of France (who lacked a direct heir) for political reasons, as long as Charles could accompany her to Paris. She eagerly threw herself into the pursuit of widowhood through ‘vigorous physical activity’. (“C’mon, ducky, sure you can go another round!”) The story is that she had enough to please Charles too - until someone pointed out to them they needed to learn ‘the French way’ because if she got pregnant Louis would get the ‘credit’ and their son would become king of France … and they could never go home.
Know who made a movie about this in the ‘50s? Fuckin’ DISNEY!
I assume you know that when we lost ex-Veep Nelson Rockefeller the woman was able to push him off, called a friend, got him dressed and 911’d. Unfortunately, they got his BVDs on backwards and it all unraveled …
I did NOT know this, but went to trusty internet (the 21st century Louella Parsons/Hedda Hopper for truth). There was the story....many articles. Thank you, Clym. I do love good gossip -- especially when it is true.
A unique take on Princess Mary, younger sister of Henry VIII. I knew that her marriage with Louis II, king of France was short - I just assumed he was very old and that was the end of that. But asking Melania to fuck her husband to death - now that is inspired! Melania would require a substantial pay off, for combat service, but I’ll bet a Go Fund Me page would soon be overflowing with cash from grateful citizens.
I think she should receive some sort of gold statue as well . . . perhaps a golden dildo, with the inscription, "for meritorious service in support of America"
As long as SCOTUS has a “For Rent” sign in front of it, why not use some of the Go Fund Me $$ to buy a “President’s Spousal Immunity” decision for a one-time act of patriotism from the First Lady? Rather than risk her life with a potentially life-threatening case of the dry heaves from physical contact with the orange turd, she could just slip a ziplock bag over his bloated noggin (nice ironic twist to a mob-like hit) while he’s in the hypnotic trance of watching Fox Snooze…a couple wraps of duct tape, and VOILA!!! America is back, and Melania’s reward is a green card for Baron (he was born to an illegal immigrant parent, so no birthright citizenship for him!).
The Sword and the Rose, starring Glynis Johns. Walt Disney doesn’t get enough credit … though he does have a Land and a World still 60 years after he died - something trump will never have. I’m thinking 60 years from now visitors to Madame Tussaud’s will just look puzzled and ask Who is the orange guy?
Don the John and Melania the Mattress are meant for each other. Was it Epstein who got her the so-called Einstein Visa? I didn't know that Slovenian escorts were so highly valued.
This one be best, Andy. The concept of Malomar saying “hurl” is totally hilarious! I’m surprised her English is so good in this statement - who do you think wrote it for her?
"Now is the time for Congress to act. Trump is not alone. To commit his crimes he has had the help not only of the toadies in his Cabinet but from a pack of slimy oligarchs such as Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, and Jeff Bezos. I call for thorough, Nuremberg-style hearings to bring all of these despicable traitors to justice."
There were famous Republicans who died in the saddle, my favorite being Nelson Rockefeller,
from the ‘Country Club’ wing of the Grand Old Party. I believe his impassionata was a distinctly mousy secretary. Ah, those Rockefellers: Drill, Daddy, drill.
My favorite TV line ever: the phony faith-healer’s manager is recruiting a shill for thr next performance and tells (My Name Is) Earl “I’ll pay you $20; let me see you limp.” Earl replies “Okay, but no touching.”
I read that she brought individually wrapped (decorated aluminum foil) Oreo cookies to her first job interview, knowing Nelson's fondness for them. Her efforts paid off--she was hired and little did she know then what would happen.
How bad is the Iran war that Melania is bringing up Epstein to distract from it???
How bad?
So bad that Trump and his regime are drowning in their own lies, stupidity and arrogance in the face of an adversary that is even more cynical and vicious than Trump.
Confronted by an Iranian opposition that is smarter, more clear eyed and less demented, Tump is now the chump.
And at long last, the whole world sees it.
The whole world sees it with the exception of GOP (Guardians of Pedophiles) members of the House and Senate.
Oh, that is the best = Guardians of Pedophiles!
I think they see it but are helpless to do anything about it. He has no qualms about throwing any of them under the bus.
They are anything but helpless. Congress is a separate but EQUAL branch of government. Self serving describes them better.
MAYBE "PARALYZED"?
Probably some are fearful of violent retribution and likely the rest are hoping to keep in office and/or benefit financially and in power.
Yes!
They are not helpless-they are cowards and have spines made of jell-o.
obsequious, self-serving dolts
Dangerous, deadly, destructive a-holes that are a danger to self and others.
It would take only a handful of repubs in congress to (wo)man up, put their cowardly, selfish fears aside and do the right thing. Face it, you self-serving traitors—you stand a good chance of losing your seats in the midterms regardless—and so much better to exit with honor than continue to contribute to democracy’s demise. You all know you are enabling a sick madman. You KNOW that the right thing to do is to come down on the right side. There are still millions of Americans who genuinely love and care for this country. They are your constituents, just as much the deluded MAGAs you are pandering to.
I agree wholeheartedly, Jan, but I don't believe any of them have the right to exit with honor, given they've allowed this abuse of power and chaos to go on as long as it has.
Liz Cheney said it best to her Republican colleagues, "There will come a day when Donald Trump is gone, but your dishonor will remain."
Better to be thrown out of office, if the electorate is so inclined, than to be a toady and accept all the illegalities that go along with trump and his in crowd. Better to be under the bus than on top of the trump hurricane.
HE WOULD THROW HIS GRANDMOTHERUNDER A BUS IF IT WOULD HELP HIM IN ANY WAY.
We don't know that he didn't.
He probably has…thinking of his second wife.
I don't see how under the bus could be any worse than being one of Trump's toadies. If you lie flat between the wheels, you can come out alive!
unless . . . the bus has monster truck tires.
In the Trump administration, being thrown under the bus is to be ejected from the depraved madness. My guess is that half of them wish it was their turn. At least they could move to another country and claim asylum. Those who remain loyal no matter what will follow Trump to jail.
Helpless? What's the down side? Unless he has damaging info on them like crimes committed, what can he do? Get them primaried out of a job they in fact aren't doing anyway? Get them ousted from a do nothing waste of a Party? They should do what is morally, ethically and legally correct and boot the dangerous, unstable, criminal out of office.
GOP Guardians of Pedophiles - love it!
Para-lies! ;)
Probably some are fearful of violent retribution and likely the rest are hoping to keep in office and/or benefit financially and in power.
<appreciative applause>
Wow, you've bested my "Greedy Old Pedophiles"! Congrats!
drowning??? can it kill them? one can only hope
May the sharks and electric motor boats end this debacle
At last the dream of Grover Norquist can be realized, "I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub,” finally government has been reduced to the whims of one pathetic man, which would readily fit in an oversized bathtub, the lathered spume of his make-up will be toxic, Grover, Grover where are you be sure to wear gloves.
love the quote
Agreed. Except, I doubt that he sees it. He is totally in his own head. (Ew.)
What does it say about me to actuallly laugh out loud at this.... love this ...now more of the brilliant comments will make my day..as always thank you
It says you are a very intelligent person with a great sense of humor 😉💕
It says your head is in exactly the right place.:+)
I’m guessing it’s safe to assume Steven “Oddjob” Cheung didn’t write that speech for her.
I suspect Todd (Toady) Blanche is behind it.
perhaps her casual acquaintance, Maxwell, wrote it for her
Agreed…I take churlish delight in such, and then despair at the degradation of my moral character.
Ginger, it says that Stephen Miller and the other gangsters haven’t quenched your spirit
And standing behind the presidential shield. How prescient were the bloody Christmas trees. Republicans, time to get home from Disneyland.
I think it was indicative of who is REALLY running that clown show--the "Red Sparrow" is making clear she controls the clicker on Trumpy's shock collar.
I think you meant to say "Dismalland."
I'm surprised she didn't put in a plug for her Amazon vanity project
EXACTLY. A few weeks ago I wondered when they'd pivot back to Epstein (but I was being facetious!) because I knew this war would go SOOOO south. Unfreakinreal.
Andy, You’ve nailed it with Bilesian precision this morning! Brilliant and hilarious! 😂The Iran war is an unmitigated disaster if it has forced our vagulous, inarticulate, pouty, I-don’t- care First Lady to put out such a cogent statement! 😂💕 We needed this ! Thanks ! 💕
“I vhas just an eenocent bystender”…the translation might have suffered in the original a bit.
Methinks the Slovenian bimbette doth protest too much.
like her "alledged" husband, she is making sure she comes out smelling (I could continue with "like a rose", but I think not)
Now I have to turn to my dictionary to look up "vagulous." These comments consistently improve my vocabulary.
me too - I love this word - it applies perfectly to Felon47
Courtesy Virginia Woolf (Mrs.Dalloway )😉💕
I’ve been posting the same thing. Now we need a distraction from the war and Epstein files. Watch out Cuba…
You nailed it!!
PERHAPS RUNAWAY INFLATION WILL SERVE TO DISTRACT.
or Greenland, again
That's a possibility. He seems to like new shiny objects though. Hey, here's thought - how about he spend some time doing his JOB??? he's got a whole agency still shut down, for instance.
I think that is the problem, Dawn He thinks he's doing has job, magnificently. But as the poster child for ADD, he drops a firecracker in a theater, then moves along to the next when he gets bored or criticized.
bingo
How bad is it that Melania was the lead story on BBC News America last evening? Let’s hope she’s had her 15 minutes of fame.
she is only able to hold anyone's attention for one minute........
J Cheng, at most.
I guess I prefer sending "Melanie" out to to distract us to the only remaining alternative available to him--dropping a nuclear bomb.
Of course the quickest way to win this war would be to force all of the Iranian big wigs to watch the "Melania" movie.
that may technically be considered a war crime
LOL! Good one.
That’s a perfect statement and made my day!
I haven't (& won't) seen it, but I'm guessing, from what I've heard & read, you're probably right about that.
A bimbo bests a bomb any day.
Her husband started a war to distract from the Epstein files. She's ending the war by bringing attention back to them and to him.
I've always appreciated symmetry.
so she should get the Nobel Peace Prize . . .?
Yeah only the Trump administration would be dumb enough to intentionally bring up Epstien.
Only Trump could do this.
Are the rats starting to desert the sinking ship?? Bannon has had his record expunged-he had said he was worried about going back to jail. The poster boy for the regime has the doors to the Treasury thrown open to anyone seeking a pardon and a payout, including himself. Bessent is quickly destroying the economy as a last push for p25. Kegsbreath is dismantling the military. We need to keep pushing against them all everywhere we can.
So bad that Nobel laureate Paul Krugman calls it Operation Epic FUBAR!!
they all make me hurl, including her!
It doesn't matter what fictions she spins out, her movie will never make money.
Making money on the movie never mattered to Bezos. He did it to cozy up to trump to advance his own personal/business agenda.
Sad and true.
Actually, Robert Reich's post this morning suggests he is not happy with the extreme level of loss: over 100 million. Never underestimate the greed of a malignant narcissist twerp like Bezos.
and NO one will ever take her seriously, seriously
It’s like a punchline to a joke… it’s SO bad, the administration is using melanoma to bring up Epstein to distract from the distraction from Epstein.
Yes, this seems to be what they're left with -ping ponging between two of their worst disasters.
She read your column yesterday about Operation Epstein Ferry and thought it was true.
If only
Again. The REAL news by Andy Borowitz!!!
Great minds...I replied the same before seeing yours!
Came here to say this.
Ha! Melania is fated to share a cell with Maxwell at Club Fed.
While Trump is incarcerated in a maximum security—or should it be maximum insecurity—prison for the rest of his unnatural days.
yes, please! The fights over the hair straightener and the makeup mirror will be epic - gives a whole new meaning to "orange is the new black"
It’s time for Melania to release her inner Mary Tudor and fuck him to death just as MT did Louis XII of France. A subarachnoid hematoma is a much more pleasant culmination than Donny Two Dolls deserves but between justice and survival … I prefer the latter.
Background: Mary was the comely baby sister of Henry VIII who, despite being in love with his close friend Charles Brandon, acceded to marrying the aged King of France (who lacked a direct heir) for political reasons, as long as Charles could accompany her to Paris. She eagerly threw herself into the pursuit of widowhood through ‘vigorous physical activity’. (“C’mon, ducky, sure you can go another round!”) The story is that she had enough to please Charles too - until someone pointed out to them they needed to learn ‘the French way’ because if she got pregnant Louis would get the ‘credit’ and their son would become king of France … and they could never go home.
Know who made a movie about this in the ‘50s? Fuckin’ DISNEY!
she'd need a "Life Alert" to move him off her after the happy ending
I assume you know that when we lost ex-Veep Nelson Rockefeller the woman was able to push him off, called a friend, got him dressed and 911’d. Unfortunately, they got his BVDs on backwards and it all unraveled …
I read that she said afterwards, “I thought he was comin’ but he was goin’”.
<snicker>
I did NOT know this, but went to trusty internet (the 21st century Louella Parsons/Hedda Hopper for truth). There was the story....many articles. Thank you, Clym. I do love good gossip -- especially when it is true.
As Jim Ignatowski often said: You mean I’m right?
Eeeeew, Paul!
A unique take on Princess Mary, younger sister of Henry VIII. I knew that her marriage with Louis II, king of France was short - I just assumed he was very old and that was the end of that. But asking Melania to fuck her husband to death - now that is inspired! Melania would require a substantial pay off, for combat service, but I’ll bet a Go Fund Me page would soon be overflowing with cash from grateful citizens.
AND she’d get to live happily ever after with her Secret Service boy-toy!
And maybe Corey on the side ?
I think she should receive some sort of gold statue as well . . . perhaps a golden dildo, with the inscription, "for meritorious service in support of America"
As long as SCOTUS has a “For Rent” sign in front of it, why not use some of the Go Fund Me $$ to buy a “President’s Spousal Immunity” decision for a one-time act of patriotism from the First Lady? Rather than risk her life with a potentially life-threatening case of the dry heaves from physical contact with the orange turd, she could just slip a ziplock bag over his bloated noggin (nice ironic twist to a mob-like hit) while he’s in the hypnotic trance of watching Fox Snooze…a couple wraps of duct tape, and VOILA!!! America is back, and Melania’s reward is a green card for Baron (he was born to an illegal immigrant parent, so no birthright citizenship for him!).
simple, concise and warranted!
Trouble with that plan is it requires Trump to be able to get it up. Seriously? Have you seen the man lately?
Who knows when he was last capable of performing the act…I mean, with a grown woman, not a a 10-year old?
Thanks for the history lesson. It's even more bizarre now than it was then. I'm sure Andy Borowitz would never make this all up.
The Brandons, by the way, were the grandparents of Jane Grey the Nine-Days Queen in 1553, who ended up beheaded by Queen Mary Tudor, niece of our Mary
What would that movie be?! 🤨
(I missed THAT Disney princess)! 👸
I’ve seen the movie 😜
Oh you poor thing. I'll set up a GoFundMe page for you to get the therapy that you undoubtedly need!
Hahaha-I meant I saw the Disney movie-but kind of you to care about my mental health. Andy’s words are good on that account 😉
The Sword and the Rose, starring Glynis Johns. Walt Disney doesn’t get enough credit … though he does have a Land and a World still 60 years after he died - something trump will never have. I’m thinking 60 years from now visitors to Madame Tussaud’s will just look puzzled and ask Who is the orange guy?
Think Melania is reading over her pre-nup?
my thoughts exactly - she insisted it be added to the pre-nup with a hefty price tag before making the statement.
She annotates it every night.
Methinks the lady doth protest too much….
I just posted the same!
LOL! That's what I just posted - I hadn't seen yours. Great minds think alike! :)
Don the John and Melania the Mattress are meant for each other. Was it Epstein who got her the so-called Einstein Visa? I didn't know that Slovenian escorts were so highly valued.
Actually, I’d heard it was Rupert Murdoch who helped her get it.
thank you for the giggle - Don the John and Melania the Mattress
This one be best, Andy. The concept of Malomar saying “hurl” is totally hilarious! I’m surprised her English is so good in this statement - who do you think wrote it for her?
Someone who knows ‘categorize’ from ‘characterize’? She clearly doesn’t
Todd Blanche or someone on his staff .
Made me laugh
Well, it at least she got one thing right:
"Now is the time for Congress to act. Trump is not alone. To commit his crimes he has had the help not only of the toadies in his Cabinet but from a pack of slimy oligarchs such as Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, and Jeff Bezos. I call for thorough, Nuremberg-style hearings to bring all of these despicable traitors to justice."
She has no cards
and no brain or interior, an empty vacuum
<standing ovation>
There were famous Republicans who died in the saddle, my favorite being Nelson Rockefeller,
from the ‘Country Club’ wing of the Grand Old Party. I believe his impassionata was a distinctly mousy secretary. Ah, those Rockefellers: Drill, Daddy, drill.
His last words were reportedly “Whoa Nelly!”
Megan sought sweet release:
Genitalia collided
An unfinished Half Nelson
Was all he provided.
My favorite TV line ever: the phony faith-healer’s manager is recruiting a shill for thr next performance and tells (My Name Is) Earl “I’ll pay you $20; let me see you limp.” Earl replies “Okay, but no touching.”
That is hilarious!!
<triple snicker and snort laugh>
<double snicker>
<snicker>
Megan Marshack! It took her a while to make Nelson presentable before she called 911, so the rumors went, and she never wrote a tell-all book!
No one would ever have heard her name, but that she and her friend didn’t know about flies and put his underpants on backwards.
Her name was Happy Rockefeller lol
Ummmm … Happy was the widow … and she wasn’t happy to get that phone call
Aphrodisiac power often leads to a mess
Like that mouthy intern with her little blue dress.
Poor Monica. Shouldn't we forgive her--even a little. Apparently Hillary has. Hasn't she?
No. A spoiled brat from Beverly Hills. Quite opportunistic, to my mind.
I read that she brought individually wrapped (decorated aluminum foil) Oreo cookies to her first job interview, knowing Nelson's fondness for them. Her efforts paid off--she was hired and little did she know then what would happen.
I think this is AI--which in this case is horribly wrong but still smarter than anything else in the Trump administration.
Actually, I think it’s the most accurate interpretation of a Melanoma speech ever. Better than subtitles. Thanks, AB.
BRILLIANT
Very funny and true! You always start my day with a laugh.
A reporter shouted out to her, "Then who is Barron's father?" "Why, Jeff Epstein, of course," she replied.
As she turned away to leave the room, however, not realizing her mike was still live, she was heard to mumble, "or I guess it could have been Elon."
My money’s on Shaq. She used to throw those wild parties for the Heat at mar-a-bungo when donny was away …
Right height, wrong color.
Hmmm. Interesting speculation. Lots can be done with genetic engineering.