The Borowitz Report

The Borowitz Report

Communism According to Republicans

TBR Sunday Read

Carlos Greaves's avatar
Carlos Greaves
Jul 12, 2026
∙ Paid
LMPC via Getty Images

On July 4th, Donald J. Trump gave a rousing speech at the foot of Mount Rushmore, where he warned about a resurgence of a “communist menace.”

After an exhaustive search, TBR could not find any evidence of a resurgence of communism in America. Our investigation did, however, find evidence of a resurgence of several other “-isms,” including racism, sexism, nationalism, and fascism.

We can therefore only assume that Trump must have been confused about what communism is and isn’t—a confusion he seems to share with his entire party.

As a public service, TBR has compiled the following list of things Trump and his fellow Republicans believe are—and are not—examples of communism:

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Carlos Greaves's avatar
A guest post by
Carlos Greaves
Former electrical engineer turned professional comedy writer fighting the power joyfully. If you're as angry about the state of the world as I am, come have a laugh with me.
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