The Borowitz Report

The Borowitz Report

DC Residents Less Afraid of Homeless Than of Running into Stephen Miller

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Andy Borowitz
Aug 21, 2025
∙ Paid
Win McNamee/Getty Images

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Residents of Washington, DC are less afraid of the city’s homeless population than they are of accidentally running into Stephen Miller, according to a new poll released on Thursday.

When asked, “What do you fear most?,” 4 percent said, “the homeless,” while 87 percent said, “Being seated at a rest…

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