Bobbie, given Andy's integrity, insight, decency, intellect and all the other applicable "I" and "D" words, we should be standing 𝘪𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 him. You know what I mean.
YES! And they should be paid a hell of a lot more than Donald or any of his lackeys "earn." A woman's labor produces a citizen, for god's sake. (And, usually, an adorable little creature who takes our worried minds off whatever horrible thing Donald and his lackeys have just done.)
Andy -- you definitely deserve a Nobel Pizza Prize for keeping the Snopes investigators employed and certainly well fed with late-night pizzas as they dig for the facts.
If you don't mind, perhaps you could share the award with one of the other all-time greats, Jack Webb, whose theme was "Just the facts ma'am". 🤔
🤣🤣, Though odd to think of Justa and Facts in the same sentence.
On the other hand . . . "Justa Facts" could become slang for "damnable lies." As in: "You can't believe what he says because he keeps telling Justa Facts."
I must admit, that when I saw this column I thought –for a moment– “Did JDV *really* say that?“ but then I realized, “Of course not; it’s Andy Borowitz!“
I am old enough to remember the great political humorist Art Buchwald. When he retired, he said, “The world is getting so crazy, people can’t tell reality from satire anymore.”
Mark, thanks for giving a shout out to Art Buchwald (or as they say, "the late, great Art Buchwald". Andy is without a doubt a worthy heir to the satirical throne with his own unique style. .
Buchwald once fabricated a transcript of a totally fictitious classified Pentagon meeting - only to be asked by an NSA official who leaked the actual meeting's contents!
He was my graduation speaker at W&M. His speech was hilarious, but my uptight attitude at the time didn't appreciate his tone, as in his final admonition to us: "America is a great country; don't screw it up!" My roommate and I did not join in the standing ovation for him. YEARS later I learned that my friend Phyllis Theroux was his friend. Knowing he was ill, I wanted to write a long-deserved apology. She told me the nursing home he was in at the end. I called to get the address. The nurse said, "Well, do you want to speak to him?" Oh my god. Before I knew it, I'm talking with Art Buchwald. I told him I was sorry that I didn't stand up for him that May day in 1980. Without a pause, he said, "Oh YOU were the one. Don't think I didn't notice!" We enjoyed a big laugh. He died a few weeks later.
A lovely, delicious experience, Lee. I have a very few letter stories of my own, but will say only that, several months ago, Hilton Als, delivering a presentation at an organization's celebration of him, threw in "Write the letter" at a random moment. It didn't relate specifically to anything he'd been speaking of, but was a thought he deemed worth sharing. He was so correct. I just hope that people understand that there are ways to do it.
So true and a good reminder. It's all part of a return to civility, of honor. Also, somehow emails and texts just aren't the same. Will they be my legacy to my kids? Or will they just float away into the ether like me? That's partly why I wrote a memoir, so I can have the last say!
A memoir is a special gift to the kids and grandkids and then some. Now, eons too late, I wonder about all sorts of things about my parents and grandparents. They didn't say much and I didn't ask. All I can do is guess at some things and accept that I'll never know the rest. But I see this as different from the occasional letter to an admired stranger, usually well-known.
Alan! Thank you. I just read the 2022 article in The Guardian about Buchwald. I was always a fan. He had leukemia & was in hospice but he didn't die on schedule. One of my favorite stories. He was able to stay---probably because the laughter he caused was so therapeutic.
Andy, as you always say, everything you write is true--or will be some day. I am delighted that your soon-to-be-true quotations placed in the mouths of members of this maladministration have been taken as fact by those who have no sense of humor but a whole lotta grievance, no matter the side of the aisle they might be on.
Linda Mitchell - I don't think the TBR reports are taken as facts only by those who have no sense of humor. I think that anybody believe these posts as fact because so many crazy things have already happened - things that nobody believed could happen, but then they did. So, now even the most incredible thing could be real. I think that is what's going on. When TBR said that Dump had pardoned Maxwell so she could replace Bondi, for a moment I thought it had actually happened and I needed to check where the story came from to calm myself. When I was telling a friend about the joke, she at first thought I was telling her it had really happened - because we're ready to believe any fool thing these days. That still might happen in the real world (should not have given Dump the idea).
I do want to thank you, Linda Mithchell, for "maladministration" - I LOVE that. I will use it, and it has inspired "madministration" to come to mind. THANK YOU for this - it is spot on.
You make me smile with your satire. It’s so funny because it’s almost plausible. But only a fool would believe it’s actually true. Of course, they lie so much, it could be true.
Eric, don't give him any ideas. The next thing you know he'll be appointing Arnie as The Vice Putter in his Department of War, staffed by Arnie's army and, of course, Frederick Douglas. ⛳️
REPUTABLE? I am highly offended. TBR is much more reputable than those cowardly other sources! They are burying the stories!
Besides, I stand behind Andy! Every word he writes is true.
Thanks for correcting the record.
100% sounds absolutely like something Vanwinkle would say! No Doubt in my mind!
Andy’s stories have truthiness
No one has ever seen such stories!
--and the bite of toothiness!
The TBR is where I get my news! That and the late shows. I trust nothing else.
they may not be true, but they sure are funny - or maybe not exactly funny. more like mordantly true
if a false story is published and no one laughs, is it really a false story?
Don't repeat that question in the forest sans hard hat.
heard :)
Yes, especially a story about Trump and his administration where you really
can't tell the difference sometimes.
But they ARE true, in the sense of being the GREATER TRUTH.
Or as my husband always says, “I speak in truth, not fact.”.
Your man's a prophet!
I'm totally in agreement. TBR is reputable by definition as it is reliable and trustworthy. So is Snopes. JD - reliable but not trustworthy IMHO.
ANDY BOROWITZ WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG!
Now for a blue hat on which all that can fit!
At least figuratively if not literally
Bobbie, given Andy's integrity, insight, decency, intellect and all the other applicable "I" and "D" words, we should be standing 𝘪𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 him. You know what I mean.
Well, I would say,”…true-ish”. And certainly believable! And, certainly more entertaining than his subjects.
And if it's not true yet, it will be true, and sooner than we would like.
And you will give them more work in the future! Someone has to keep this economy going.
How many of the 22,000 new jobs were at Snopes or working for Andy? America thanks you.
Rick -- that's an easy question. The answer is 1,500 percent and it's been certified by the new people at the BLS.
Many were women in labor too!!
If they are in Labor, they should be paid!
We have a Secretary of Labor who should be in charge of such events and deliver the news.
--via the stork!
I thought the Secretary of Labor was a midwife.
YES! And they should be paid a hell of a lot more than Donald or any of his lackeys "earn." A woman's labor produces a citizen, for god's sake. (And, usually, an adorable little creature who takes our worried minds off whatever horrible thing Donald and his lackeys have just done.)
<giggle<
<snicker>
? BSL. BS labor statistics.
<standing ovation>
Just wait until AI starts citing Andy as an authoritative source. Whoa Nellie!
Pretty sure Alexa has been studying his posts.
I’m surprised that hasn’t already happened. It constantly makes mistakes.
Frau, if you're suggesting that Andy is not a reliable source, 𝘦𝘯 𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘦!
Saber rattling?
Circuits and servers will fry, fry, fry!
The 'real' story here is how fucking stupid, on balance, the citizens of the US have become.
On the other hand, Andy, thanks for stimulating economic developement!
Mucho, mucho estupido.
"Muy, muy estupido!"
Adverbs modify adjectives. Now you can cuss me out in Spanish!
👏👍
Have become? They were smart before?
Paul, I don't think that the citizenry has become stupider. We just didn't notice before the past few years.
Andy -- you definitely deserve a Nobel Pizza Prize for keeping the Snopes investigators employed and certainly well fed with late-night pizzas as they dig for the facts.
If you don't mind, perhaps you could share the award with one of the other all-time greats, Jack Webb, whose theme was "Just the facts ma'am". 🤔
On further reflection, if Mr. Webb were alive today, as Joe Friday he would have responded to Andy's Labor Day report with "Justa Facts ma'am". 🤰
Showing your age Alan!😂
Pam, I'm one of many Boomers proud to be on Team TBR! 😉👍
Some of us fans are even pre-boomers with long memories of outrage, but not nearly the bumper crop of current outrages.
Be fair, reruns on tv for all ages…👍
I know, I’m an ancient boomer myself, and I just watched Hogans Heroes !
Colonel Klink would end up in the Trump administration!
Never!
🤣🤣, Though odd to think of Justa and Facts in the same sentence.
On the other hand . . . "Justa Facts" could become slang for "damnable lies." As in: "You can't believe what he says because he keeps telling Justa Facts."
Marmo -- I think you've couched it correctly 😉🛋️
🤣🤣🤣🤣! Oh, you're bad, Alan! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Aaarghhh
OK, Al, the groans are starting to hurt. lol
Suzanne, try to turn your groans into chuckles during these highly troubled times -- it's often therapeutic! Plus we're all "grownups". 😉
Dad jokes!
Andy, you also deserve a Noble prize for being so humble and courteous! (and honorable mention for Cookie and Mousse)
Nobel Pizza Prize! 😺😺😺
:-) !!
Nobel Pizza Prize in Economics.
I must admit, that when I saw this column I thought –for a moment– “Did JDV *really* say that?“ but then I realized, “Of course not; it’s Andy Borowitz!“
I am old enough to remember the great political humorist Art Buchwald. When he retired, he said, “The world is getting so crazy, people can’t tell reality from satire anymore.”
Mark, thanks for giving a shout out to Art Buchwald (or as they say, "the late, great Art Buchwald". Andy is without a doubt a worthy heir to the satirical throne with his own unique style. .
Buchwald once fabricated a transcript of a totally fictitious classified Pentagon meeting - only to be asked by an NSA official who leaked the actual meeting's contents!
Here's more on Art: https://www.theguardian.com/books/2022/jun/07/he-has-been-forgotten-why-humorist-art-buchwald-should-be-remembered
He was my graduation speaker at W&M. His speech was hilarious, but my uptight attitude at the time didn't appreciate his tone, as in his final admonition to us: "America is a great country; don't screw it up!" My roommate and I did not join in the standing ovation for him. YEARS later I learned that my friend Phyllis Theroux was his friend. Knowing he was ill, I wanted to write a long-deserved apology. She told me the nursing home he was in at the end. I called to get the address. The nurse said, "Well, do you want to speak to him?" Oh my god. Before I knew it, I'm talking with Art Buchwald. I told him I was sorry that I didn't stand up for him that May day in 1980. Without a pause, he said, "Oh YOU were the one. Don't think I didn't notice!" We enjoyed a big laugh. He died a few weeks later.
What a great story-it’s never too late to apologize!
How great that you made that call!
Lucky you! You gave him the final laugh.
A lovely, delicious experience, Lee. I have a very few letter stories of my own, but will say only that, several months ago, Hilton Als, delivering a presentation at an organization's celebration of him, threw in "Write the letter" at a random moment. It didn't relate specifically to anything he'd been speaking of, but was a thought he deemed worth sharing. He was so correct. I just hope that people understand that there are ways to do it.
So true and a good reminder. It's all part of a return to civility, of honor. Also, somehow emails and texts just aren't the same. Will they be my legacy to my kids? Or will they just float away into the ether like me? That's partly why I wrote a memoir, so I can have the last say!
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D4MFS8FF
A memoir is a special gift to the kids and grandkids and then some. Now, eons too late, I wonder about all sorts of things about my parents and grandparents. They didn't say much and I didn't ask. All I can do is guess at some things and accept that I'll never know the rest. But I see this as different from the occasional letter to an admired stranger, usually well-known.
Alan! Thank you. I just read the 2022 article in The Guardian about Buchwald. I was always a fan. He had leukemia & was in hospice but he didn't die on schedule. One of my favorite stories. He was able to stay---probably because the laughter he caused was so therapeutic.
Andy, as you always say, everything you write is true--or will be some day. I am delighted that your soon-to-be-true quotations placed in the mouths of members of this maladministration have been taken as fact by those who have no sense of humor but a whole lotta grievance, no matter the side of the aisle they might be on.
Do you suppose Andy could write about me winning the lottery?
🤣
Me, me, too!
Linda Mitchell - I don't think the TBR reports are taken as facts only by those who have no sense of humor. I think that anybody believe these posts as fact because so many crazy things have already happened - things that nobody believed could happen, but then they did. So, now even the most incredible thing could be real. I think that is what's going on. When TBR said that Dump had pardoned Maxwell so she could replace Bondi, for a moment I thought it had actually happened and I needed to check where the story came from to calm myself. When I was telling a friend about the joke, she at first thought I was telling her it had really happened - because we're ready to believe any fool thing these days. That still might happen in the real world (should not have given Dump the idea).
I do want to thank you, Linda Mithchell, for "maladministration" - I LOVE that. I will use it, and it has inspired "madministration" to come to mind. THANK YOU for this - it is spot on.
Yes, maladministration is pure GENIUS!!! t.y.!
Thanks to Linda Mitchell KCMO for that perfect wording.
I love that you can make me laugh in spite of all.
Should be 400, 800 maybe even 600 percent.
Humor and satire are a reflection of the truth. So sayeth my 103 year old grandma
I like the word reflection. Like a funhouse mirror.
She would know.
Nancy, please tell your grandma that I'm available for adoption.
“Liar!Liar! Flaming pants!”
No one spins a whopper like JD Vance.
Did our POTUS trifle with damsels, minor?
Make an application of thick eyeliner.
Take a trip to Greenland, Usha in tow,
Bothering the Inuit Esquimeaux.
Jetting out of Greenland,
Back to DC,
Polishing your Donald Trump eulogy
It’s clearer by the day that Trump’s insane,
Promulgating nonsense;
Circling the drain.
When The Donald’s gone,
Issue first a memo
That you will proceed with the East
Wing demo.
Think of all the furniture
In the East Wing,
Perfect for an overstuffed sofa fling.
Ohio Haitian refugees,
Eating dogs and cats?
Suggest they try some fricasseed Democrats.
You will be superb as our new Dear Leader,
But I am getting tired of this poem’s meter.
I won’t need elaboration, ‘cause the Truth is frightening.
In my Mellow Breakfast Roast
I add some fine White Lightening.
Even now, I hear the twang of George Jones:
🎶Mighty mighty pleasin’
Pappy’s corn squeezin’s! (Pop!)
White lightning’!🎶
<standing ovation and loud whistle of appreciation>
Wow. Can I have what you drank for breakfast?
If only Starbucks had liquor licenses and a staff old enough to sell it...🤔
A great poem and you shall be forgiven for the meter flaws. Love 'Iuit Esquimeaux.'
Wendy,
When the welkin rings
And I head up yonder,
There are many things I’ll have time to ponder.
I’m assuming that I can get past St.Peter,
With his cherubs keeping track of rhyme and meter.
They can tell a dactyl from a bad spondee,
And deplore the verse that is described as “free”.
100%!
Glenn Ebo Perry strikes again - and hits another bullseye!
Thanks for this. Every one is the best one.
Fricasseed Democrats. Yum!! :-) !!
with 50 herbs and spices!
Andy, When you're a POS, inevitably you will say dumbass things. Thanks for reporting humorous news instead of MAGA do-do.
MAGA spreads hate and fear. Andy spreads laughter and community. MUCH better!
Love it—brilliant!
You make me smile with your satire. It’s so funny because it’s almost plausible. But only a fool would believe it’s actually true. Of course, they lie so much, it could be true.
I'm still waiting for Snopes to debunk Trump's description of Arnold Palmer's equipment.
Eric, don't give him any ideas. The next thing you know he'll be appointing Arnie as The Vice Putter in his Department of War, staffed by Arnie's army and, of course, Frederick Douglas. ⛳️
Alan -
Frederick Douglas would probably be put on the list to be picked up by ICE.
his gravesite is about 40 minutes from my house; I'll stand guard, if needed.
I think are looking for him!
I just wonder why the felon is checking out other men’s “equipment.”
You don't want to go there...
<snort laugh> NO one does, bitchy3
He might had overheard something Melania was giggling about...🤭🤔
His pet name in bed: "Shorty".
Because he has to "be best."
To see what it really looks like--without a magnifying glass!
With his flab, being able to "see it" requires mirrors and faith.
I checked the veracity of this story at my own fact checking website, https ://thesmartassgeezer.com, and it said this story was true.