368 Comments
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Paul Snyderman's avatar

I completely reject the evidence in the photo. Epstein was not Biden's "type."

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

Case closed

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Alan's avatar

Andy, one doctored picture is worth 1,000 lies -- in the press and social media.

In fact, doctoring photos may be the major 'medical" accomplishment of the current administration.

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David T Moran's avatar

RFK jr is in charge of doctoring things.

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foofaraw & Chiquita(ARF!)'s avatar

HAR!

You won the internet today, David! (so far...)

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Kate Decker's avatar

HAR HAR HAR! :-)

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SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Looks like it, Foof

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Linda Byberg's avatar

Where is Dr. Oz? He has got to have a hand and some of these things. I rarely hear about him.

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SyBen's avatar

Yes, look what RFK,Jr did with his face!

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Jim Yoder's avatar

Is that because he is a professional? Seems to me that in the great Denzel Washington movie "Man on Fire" everyone that was a criminal suggested that they were professionals and professionals need some liberty. As I recall they all got liberated...permanently. Seems fitting for RFK jr who is a "professional" who knows at what but that is what he claims.

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sally marks's avatar

I’m afraid that many, many will believe this. I laughed but won’t forward-May really injure our former President

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sally marks's avatar

😜🙏😊

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DeeDee Sanders's avatar

I loved that!

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Jim Yoder's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂😂😂

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Pearl's avatar

or vice versa!

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L. R. Abramson's avatar

"Vice" sums it up.

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Leslie's avatar

🤣

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Bill's avatar

"Not his type"... Hilarious

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BTAM Master's avatar

Of course it was Biden...isn't everything that goes wrong on the planet because of Biden?

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Dawn's avatar

Yes! Have you never heard of the Lindbergh Baby Kidnapping?

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Lynn Tuohy's avatar

Does that explain why the Biden left Scranton?

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foofaraw & Chiquita(ARF!)'s avatar

Was Biden BOTH Rosenbergs?

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Kate Decker's avatar

I believe so. This was in all the newspapers at the time, but the news was buried by -- well, -- Biden. He was 5 at the time.

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foofaraw & Chiquita(ARF!)'s avatar

We Dems do have some amazing abilities, and not just controlling the weather!

Remember how Dems traveled into the past to put Obama's birth notice in a Hawaiian newspaper? (I get a really bad feeling that one of those people may have trod on a butterfly...)

Is anyone else hearing the sound of thunder?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Sound_of_Thunder

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Kate Decker's avatar

Yes but I got lost on the Poincare Map

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Marmo's avatar

Ha, Kate Decker - Biden at 5! I guess that's proof of how intelligent Biden was even at such a young age! 😉

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John Townsend's avatar

No, he was Ethel in a black-haired wig!

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Elene Gusch's avatar

Of course-- although the Rosenbergs did not deserve to die!

Funny, everything used to be Obama's fault, now everything is Biden's fault

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foofaraw & Chiquita(ARF!)'s avatar

I think the GOP would prefer that the world forget "Turtleneck Mitch's" claim that the GOP's MOST important task was to prevent Obama's second term.

One can't but wonder if they were imagining an America even WORSE than what we have now.

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Hugh Jarce's avatar

Dawn. You were aware weren't you, that the Norman invasion of Britain in 1066 was planned and executed by Joe Biden? Are all, it's well known that he's old and I expect he's French. Why wouldn't he be?

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

😂😂😂😂

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Dawn's avatar

Damn frog!

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John Townsend's avatar

I knew it!

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

Or Obama.

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Bobbie75's avatar

Or Hillary. 🙄

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William Tichenor's avatar

& dont forget Hunter!🤷‍♂️

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Pamela's avatar

Even the Texas flooding.

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C. Killion's avatar

Good ol’6B totally agrees, she has always said Jewish space lasers control the weather, and the Texas floods prove it!

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William Tichenor's avatar

You mean 3 toes?

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foofaraw & Chiquita(ARF!)'s avatar

Empty G?

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D ODonnell's avatar

Invasion / bombing of Pearl Harbor?

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Dawn's avatar

Of course it was that son-of-a-bitch JB! And he claims to be patriotic

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William Tichenor's avatar

That’s fake news!😂

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foofaraw & Chiquita(ARF!)'s avatar

I thought the Texas Flood was from SRV?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KC5H9P4F5Uk

(Not meaning to be cruel, but because the GOP is certain to say Biden played lead guitar, and that this previews the ability of Dems to control weather...at least in Red States.)

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Elene Gusch's avatar

Ah, of course! That explains it all.

Thank you for reminding us of SRV-- we need any enjoyment we can get.

(While mourning for the people of the Texas Hill Country.)

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Mary Roeser's avatar

Yep. Donnie Demento has already said so.

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MLK's avatar

Especially the Texas flooding. Trump wouldn't cut the National Weather Service or FEMA. And Trump would never harm a child. (Though the Internet Archive includes this: "Jeffrey Epstein and Donald Trump child rape lawsuit | Case 5:16-cv-00797-DMG-KS")

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Linda Morse's avatar

Hold it! I thought Obama was responsible for everything that goes wrong! Guess that's old news.

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Marmo's avatar
8hEdited

You recall correctly, Linda Morse. Remember: Biden is the same person as Hillary, and Biden is a robot - soooooooo, Obama is at the robotic controls. Everything bad is Biden/Hillary's fault, but run by Obama (who must be a genius to control such a complicated robot that looks so real). The MAGAs believe every word ot it.

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John Townsend's avatar

--when they're off their meds, or even on them!

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Don Fearn's avatar

No. Barack Hussein Obama is who you’re thinking of.

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Marmo's avatar

Yes, BTAM Master, everything wrong in the Universe is because of Biden. Or Hillary. Or maybe Hillary is Biden in drag. That might be the next story they pedal and the MAGAs buy. Biden and Hillary certainly are one person in the tiny, broken mind of the Orange Shame.

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jgmorris2020@gmail.com's avatar

Or HILLIARY!

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foofaraw & Chiquita(ARF!)'s avatar

Some MAGAt will make the claim that she NEVER climbed Mt. Everest, much less being the first to reach the summit!

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Mary Roeser's avatar

People are saying that it was Joe Biden (or was it Hunter? Or was it the two of them together?) who kidnapped Helen of Troy and set the Trojan War in motion.

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John Townsend's avatar

Yes, Biden was visiting Mt. Olympus that day and manipulated those goddesses into

starting the war!

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Mary Roeser's avatar

I knew it!!! Thanks for the confirmation!!

I have no doubt whatsoever that Donnie Demento blames Joe Biden (used to be President Obama or Hillary Clinton, but Demento has apparently updated his hallucinations) for every single plague, famine, war, disaster, and catastrophe that has befallen humankind since Creation, real or fictional.

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Charles Wagner's avatar

I thought it was Obama's fault... or FDR.

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Annette's avatar

I'm sure that's why he spends so much time in church!

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LES Bennett's avatar

Some of it due to Hilary and some to Obama.

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Erik Staub's avatar

No don’t forget Hillary and Obama and their Marxist liberal voters

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John Townsend's avatar

like us? I wonder?

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Kandy Brown's avatar

And, unfortunately, too many democrats seem to agree!

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Italien's avatar

And god said “there is no Epstein list. And it was so!” It’s divine providence at work..😏

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Ophioukhos's avatar

Pam Bondi was tipped off reading Kash Patel's "The Plot Against the King." It has since become required reading of all FBI agents.

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Italien's avatar

Unfortunately, I think you’re right!!🤯

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MLK's avatar

Bondi and Patel need to read this on the Internet Archive: Jeffrey Epstein and Donald Trump child rape lawsuit | Case 5:16-cv-00797-DMG-KS

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Italien's avatar

As if that didn’t exist…🙄

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

Facts don’t really matter to this administration

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Annette's avatar

Wow, can I do the same thing with my taxes? "There are no taxes, there is nothing on Pam Bondi's desk. And it was so!"

Just putting it out in the universe, can't we just blame everything now, in perpetuity, on Mitch McConnell? He's the king of quislings, so why not layer him up with other "honors."

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John Townsend's avatar

--or just layer him, six feet under!

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Italien's avatar

Great ideas!

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Jim Dygert's avatar

Blondie’s dog ate the Epstein papers

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John Townsend's avatar

Imagine what will come out the other end?

Stink in, stink out!

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Italien's avatar

Dump gifted her the dog.😏

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Annette's avatar

at least Gnome didn't kill it

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John Townsend's avatar

--or some other type of providence!

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Paul Wolf's avatar

Andy, in these troubled times, the value of your humor is priceless.

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Gracie44's avatar

Well, what should we expect?

Denial, denial, denial—ain’t just a river in Africa!

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John Townsend's avatar

It seems to be several rivers in America, too!

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Gracie44's avatar

😂true that!

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Bobbie75's avatar

Of course. Remember, Biden was married before … he met his first wife when they were on spring break in the Bahamas … and you know what those parties are like!

Such a corrupt man. He was so corrupt he never once was convicted of assaulting a woman, nor did he pay any off, he was never impeached, and he was never convicted of felonies for improper business dealings. Must be super slippery!

Even more, he manipulated and stole the 2020 election. Probably had Epstein’s help, then had him commit suicide, just to cover it up.

What, Epstein died in 2019? Who are you going to believe, me your favorite president, or the fake obituaries.

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D ODonnell's avatar

Great one, Bobbie

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foofaraw & Chiquita(ARF!)'s avatar

Much like Trump's claim to be able to "shoot someone on 5th Avenue" without facing justice.

He actually said almost EXACTLY the same thing about Hillary shooting someone, but unlike him, her reason for avoiding justice wasn't the great love Americans feel toward her, but rather her immense levels of corruption.

"Trump: Clinton could shoot somebody and not be arrested"

https://www.cnn.com/2016/09/09/politics/donald-trump-hillary-clinton-shoot-somebody

Methinks Trump's "projector" needs a new bulb. (Even if it's not the sharpest one in the bulb drawer, or brightest knife in her knife drawer...)

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Bobbie75's avatar

This is from Ann Landers years ago … but it could work.

When God gave out Brains. I thought he said trains, so I missed mine.

When God gave out Looks. I thought he said books, so I didn't want any.

When God gave out Noses. I thought he said roses, so I ordered a big red one.

When God gave out Chins. I thought he said gins, so I ordered a double.

When God gave out Legs. I thought he said kegs, so I ordered 2 fat ones.

When God gave out Heads. I thought he said beds, so I asked for a big soft one.

O God - I am in a MESS!

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John Townsend's avatar

--so God didn't give out great ears either?

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Bobbie75's avatar

Ann didn’t cover it …

Maybe, when God gave out ears, I thought he said rears, and I said don’t give those, I already have what I need.

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foofaraw & Chiquita(ARF!)'s avatar

I wish this was MORE funny and LESS true.

Thanks, Bobbie!

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John Townsend's avatar

--and Biden had the help of space aliens living underground in Area 51.

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Bobbie75's avatar

It is where he got the virus to kill off the voting Republicans.

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Annette's avatar

<standing ovation>

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

Well done, Bobbie!

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Leonore Tiefer's avatar

Who ya gonna believe - me or your lying eyes?

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Italien's avatar

There ya go! Richard Pryor’s line!😏

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Susan Fernbach's avatar

He was quoting Chico Marx, tho

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C. Killion's avatar

Groucho Marx.

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Italien's avatar

Yeah, but I’m a Pryor fan. I still think Reagan watched “Idi Amin Dada” in the 70s before he went on his full on African racist rant about “the people, they eat each other”..😂😏

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D ODonnell's avatar

In Springfield

they are eating the dogs

In Springfield, they are

eating the cats.

They are eating the pets

of the people who live there…”

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D ODonnell's avatar

The Repubs sure can pick some nutty “presidunces.”

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foofaraw & Chiquita(ARF!)'s avatar

I once posted all the things that would have to be demonstrably accurate for this lie to be true, and NONE of the many steps required would ever be accurate even in someone's WILDEST imagination.

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John Townsend's avatar

In Trumpworld, a Springfield, Ohio specialty, "jerk chihuahua".

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Rosemary Ehle's avatar

So THAT'S where I got "I like Americans. I had 2 of them for lunch"?

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Italien's avatar

Bingo!!! As I posted previously, Reagan watched this!😏

https://youtu.be/20w3XY1uMVE

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Al Keim's avatar

That's Marla!

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Hank Greenspan's avatar

What's even more amazing is that the guy purported to be Epstein is actually Kim Jong Un (on Wegovy).

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Mandy S. Twiny's avatar

Baaaah!! Good one!

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John Townsend's avatar

--and that pink salt thingy they keep advertising on YouTube!

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howard levitt's avatar

No, that’s Trump. The extra long necktie gives him away

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Bobbie75's avatar

Has always had bad taste.

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andrea sobel's avatar

He thinks it makes him look thinner. Goes with the makeup and hair dye.

(So macho!)

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John Townsend's avatar

--so nacho orange cheese!

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Randy Woodall's avatar

I know it's a little blurry and hard to make out, but if I squint I think I can see the edges of a crude tattoo on Joe's right hand, the one he has on Epstein's shoulder. Is it too much to conjecture that it is the tip of a letter or number, and that the mostly hidden tattoo reads MS13? Everything is starting to make sense now!

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Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Well-spotted! 🤣😆🤣😆🤣😆😂😆😂😆😂

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Annette's avatar

<golf clap>

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Phil De Luca's avatar

Whatever happened to lawsuit by a young girl against Trump for rape when she was 15 at Epsteins house? The action was dropped for six months I understand but then the young woman filed a second time and was dropped

My guess is Dave Pecker or Trump offered to pay her and she dropped case

Then when Trump or Pecker on his behalf didn’t pay she brought action against and this time got paid signed an NDA and disappeared

But Epstein had video evidence which would have come to light but somehow he managed to hang himself and the videos have disappeared

One person knows. DJT oops maybe Musk when Don told him one night

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Phil De Luca's avatar

Sorry she was 13. And at Epsteins with Trump raping her. Something smells since case was brought a few times until she was threatened by goons like Stormy Daniel’s

There is meat here and I’d bet Elon knows truth from Trump who likely bragged to Musk when comparing dick size and how many affairs they had. Musk knows!

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Annette's avatar

then Muskrat must release this information in good faith, before he gets his America Party started - whoot, whoot!

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MLK's avatar

Yeah, the goons threatened her until she withdrew. The assault, and witness' commentary on it, is detailed in the lawsuit on the Internet Archive: "Jeffrey Epstein and Donald Trump child rape lawsuit | Case 5:16-cv-00797-DMG-KS"

No doubt Little Johnson has never heard of it.

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

She retracted the suit after receiving multiple death threats

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Phil De Luca's avatar

No funny thing. We learned in Stormy lawsuit that Trumps close friend David PECKER would buy and kill any negative stories about Trump especially potential lawsuits

They would just go away

And videos and a ton of evidence was found by FBI in Pecker’s safe. A safe pecker!

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HelmGirl's avatar

what happened to what they found in the safe??

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Octavia Redwood's avatar

they didn't remember the combination, or it went missing, or there was a fire or a flood. end of story.

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John Townsend's avatar

So Pecker is guarding all the little dicks?

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Bill's avatar

He comes from a long line of Peckers

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Gordon Shumway's avatar

"Pecker" - what a surname, and especially apropos this case!

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Cathy Wampler's avatar

Phil - I remember that case and I was wondering what happened to that girl.

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Joan Schiavi's avatar

She was on that plane to Sudan.

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Deb's avatar
8hEdited

Check Ivana’s casket for evidence.

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Annette's avatar

yup, that's where I'd put my money!

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Sharon P's avatar

they were stored with the pee tapes probably in the maralargo bathroom archives

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John Townsend's avatar

--under the toilet lids.

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Forrest Nixon's avatar

YOU SLAY ME !!! I don't know how you think of all this great stuff!

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Mandy S. Twiny's avatar

Biden would find this post hilarious. 😆

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Andrea Brecker's avatar

Does satire about satire (formerly US governance) cancel itself out?

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Andy Borowitz's avatar

My struggle is real

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Andrea Brecker's avatar

Glad you are up to the task.

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Italien's avatar

Great question…😏

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Kimberly Swanson's avatar

Amazing!

When did tRumps hair turn into an orange rug? This was obviously pre- tanning bed…..

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Lynn Foord's avatar

And are those things on his forehead supposed to be “bangs”?!

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