Defense Department burned through ninety percent of its existing stockpiles of concealer, blush, and lip gloss in the first five days of the war with Iran.
"The Defense Department burned through ninety percent of its existing stockpiles of concealer, blush, and lip gloss in the first five days of the war with Iran." The Trump regime definitely needs all the concealer it can get--and not just at DOD. But I'm puzzled by the blush shortage, since they don't seem to feel shame about anything.
It's the makeup terrorist. They stole the last remainimg mascara wands. Since the reflecting pools has been fenced in they had no choice but to raid Hogsbreath's stash. You know criminals need to crim.
Luckily real men like Hegseth don't cry, so each mascara application will last longer (are you old enough to remember Tammy Faye Bakker crying for Jesus?)
And this just in: Hegseth, all on his own, has used up 90% of the existing stockpile of Ducolax and he is still full of it.
😂😂😂 - well said, Bob!
😂
Gotta postpone the colonoscopy!
i think mr. tangerine man might have some foundation to spare.
"Hey Mr. Tangerine Man play a song for me....
"
hey, mr. tangerine man, tell some lies to me.
you’re so creepy with that idiotic hair-do.
hey, mr. tangerine man, tell some lies to me.
in the coming fall elections we’ll be lame-ducking you.
Has anyone else been befuddled by the new hairpiece the Felon is sporting? It looks like a Golden Retriever puppy is sitting on his head . . .
They’re wearing the dogs, they’re wearing the cats!
😂😂.
It IS a puppy! A hush puppy someone on the staff stuck there hoping to shut him up.
Maybe a dog, but he’s senile enough to think he’s Troy Donahue.
LOL LOL LOL!!
Watta CROC
maybe he wanted to try out "hushpuppies" before the cabinet got them
And yet to be house broken.
But the Orange Ogre is too selfish to share it! The Hillbilly and Kegsbreath are on their own!
Maybe JD Vance can provide a Lend Lash Deal to the Secretary of Sperm Counts I mean War.
oooooh. NICE WORK. Cheers for framing that stinger in historical context!
I live for history and the great stories that weave the AMERICAN QUILT.
I seem to have done the same. I hope everyone caught it. That would give me a lot of hope for the future.
Me too! I hope they still teach about the Lend-Lease Act in school — but who knows these days???
Wanker Boy: "get your OWN, girl! I paid for mine with USAID money!"
Kegsbreath: [muttering]...."bitch!"
Wormbrain: "ladies, please!"
Exeunt Omnes
Is that what Trump and Hegseth were arguing about when they were caught on tape at the Real Trump Cabinet Meeting telecast last week?
Yes!
Only his hairdesser knows for sure.
Both your report and these early comments crack me up. There's a lovely slip of the moon in my still-dark skies, so I am smiling wide.
That makes me happy!
Makes me happy too
I saw that moon the other night. It was as if the Cheshire Cat was giving us a teasing smile.
"The Defense Department burned through ninety percent of its existing stockpiles of concealer, blush, and lip gloss in the first five days of the war with Iran." The Trump regime definitely needs all the concealer it can get--and not just at DOD. But I'm puzzled by the blush shortage, since they don't seem to feel shame about anything.
And concealer; they could never run out of concealer. Could Andy be purveying fake news after all?
Brilliant....!
It's the makeup terrorist. They stole the last remainimg mascara wands. Since the reflecting pools has been fenced in they had no choice but to raid Hogsbreath's stash. You know criminals need to crim.
Thanks Andy for my Monday morning laugh.
Thank God for your humor - it is desperately needed
I see now why Hegseth has been removing women from the military. He wants to keep all the cosmetics for himself.
Drag queens posed a bigger threat, I would imagine.
It’s a national Maybelline emergency!; everyone to the situation room!
Maybelline done gon back to doin the things she used to do.
Luckily real men like Hegseth don't cry, so each mascara application will last longer (are you old enough to remember Tammy Faye Bakker crying for Jesus?)
YES!
I am!!!!
There should be a therapy GO-FUND-ME for all who suffered Tammy Faye. I apologize for bringing her up.
:}
Definitely kissable Janet
Definitely laughed out loud at the final sentence! Thank you for my laugh this morning!
Andy specializes in PERFECT last lines.
If he starts crying at his desk, his paperwork will be further invalidated.
They call it "redacted" ;-)
Right on !
Andy, you may have stumbled upon the backstory of Hegseth's purge of certain elements in the US military...low masquara and hair gel stock!
“The Power of Warpaint: How American ‘Real Men’ Win Against The World”
By Pete Hegseth, Simon & Schuster, $47.47 hardest cover ever
LOL, BOOK OF THE MONTH CLUB SPECIAL!