The Borowitz Report

The Borowitz Report

Experts Warn That Staring at Eclipse May Cause Brain Damage

Apr 08, 2024
∙ Paid
1,737
77
60
Share
Nicholas Kamm/AFP

PATH OF TOTALITY (The Borowitz Report)—As millions of Americans await a rare celestial event, a leading brain scientist warns that staring at an eclipse without protective eyewear can lead to “severe and irreversible brain damage.”

Dr. Davis Logsdon, who studies the impact of unfiltered eclipse-viewing on mental function, said that the p…

This post is for paid subscribers

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in
© 2025 Andy Borowitz
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture