The Borowitz Report

The Borowitz Report

George Soros Declares Bankruptcy After Paying No Kings Protesters

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Andy Borowitz
Oct 20, 2025
∙ Paid
“A deal’s a deal,” the billionaire said sadly. (Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

KATONAH, NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—George Soros has been forced to declare bankruptcy after paying over seven million people to attend the No Kings protests, the billionaire confirmed on Monday.

“When I agreed to pay everyone who showed up at these things, I had no idea so…

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