Greece Begs Guilfoyle to Stay in US: “We can Hear you from There.”

Olivier Douliery/AFP

ATHENS (The Borowitz Report)—On Wednesday the Greek government implored ambassadorial nominee Kimberly Guilfoyle to remain in the United States, asserting, “We can hear you from there.”

Haralambos Dorrinopoulos, the nation’s foreign minister, warned that Guilfoyle’s “high-decibel emissions pose an existential threat to Greece’s most c…