Greenland Rejects Trump’s Offer to Trade JD Vance for Rare Earth Minerals
GREENLAND (The Borowitz Report)—On Thursday the government of Greenland flatly rejected Donald J. Trump’s offer to trade Vice President JD Vance for a stake in the island’s rare earth minerals.
In a strongly worded rebuke, government spokesman Hartvig Dorkelson declared, “Greenland will consider any attempt to transfer ownership …