213 Comments
User's avatar
Al Gorythm's avatar

What borders on stupidity?

Canada and Mexico.

Frank D Repp's avatar

21-gun salute and a ticker tape parade down Fifth Avenue!

Annette's avatar

<standing ovation>

Mike Ruiz's avatar

Excellent idea. After that, maybe he should acquire Gilligan’s island.

Denis Pombriant's avatar

Two birds with one stone! That would make Melania Mrs. Howell!

Clym Yeobright's avatar

Except Lovey wasn’t a certified Epstein import

Clym Yeobright's avatar

My theory: the reason trump promised to release the epstein papers and now is willing to nuke the world to keep them hidden is … until Bondi reported the contents to him, he DIDN’T KNOW Melania was an epstein girl. He really believed the b.s. about a ‘Genius Visa’. Melly, Jeff, and Gilly must have howled at how gullible he is … and that’s probably in the files too. Ya think?

Clym Yeobright's avatar

I’m thinking Bondi was surprised at his reaction: “Geez, Don, everybody in Palm Beach has known it for 20 years. Umm … do you also think barron is yours? In all those tests and scans you get at Walter Reed, have you NEVER asked the doctors to run his DNA against yours? I gotta get back to the office now … Have a nice day!”

Rosann's avatar

Baron is definitely his. He has the same vacant look as his siblings lol

Marmo's avatar

Barron is cursed with Dump's face - those weird lips.

Clym Yeobright's avatar

Dunno. I heard melania pulled a train for the Heat and even she doesn’t know; lots of basketball players have that look. (And of course it could be one of his ‘siblings’, couldn’t it?) Anyway, my money is on Shaq

P J Johnston's avatar

Actually I beg to differ the son looks exactly like his dad!

Ann Sharon's avatar

Doubtful. He was deeply involved in pageants & opened an international model agency the next yr using the same visas. Later he didn’t bother getting models visas as promised.

As he entered the WH in T1 he’d already dumped the pageants during the campaign. Then young (very young) foreign models began going public with their complaints of broken promises about pay & visas. The agency was quickly & quietly closed after he was in the WH.

https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/08/donald-trump-model-management-illegal-immigration/

Clym Yeobright's avatar

He announced melancholia would have a press conference explaining her immigration history “in about two weeks” … nearly ten years ago. One must suppose that at that time he believed the story she had come on an Einstein visa. When and how did he learn that was bullshit?

Annette's avatar

as much as she thinks she's Ginger

Sally Joy Rubin's avatar

Excellent observation!

Clym Yeobright's avatar

It’s all Fantasy Island now, Mike

Bergman Ronald's avatar

Right next to Mir-A-Lago and accessed by a secret tunnel. Jr collects tolls and Eric sweeps up debris.

Al Keim's avatar

He could rebrand that too. Gullibles Island.

Jill's avatar

And stay there

Bergman Ronald's avatar

MEH! ISLANDS SHMISLANDS! For a fighting weight tough l75 lb. fighting leader like me ending world wars everywhere, I wanna continent notch on my gun belt! And named after ME, ME, ME! Think of all the bulldozing I can supervise, and build gold idols in my BiG BEAUTIFUL IMAGE! OMG, the gold used will come from FORT KNOX. Executive Orders & Bills to follow on Truth Social by High Noon today.

It's Come To This's avatar

Gosh, why didn't I think of that (Homer forehead slap)! 👏

MoJoe's avatar

I hear Treasure Island is ripe for the taking.

Jay F's avatar

I’d chip in to block that.

Ann Sharon's avatar

Maybe instead of Epstein’s infamous crime scene islands.

The US already has its name on the territory - US Virgin Islands. When victims sued banks for crimes in the US, USV also sued banks that aided him & received a smaller settlement.

Denis Pombriant's avatar

Now that’s funny! Imagine Trump’s disappointment when he learns that Greenland isn’t really green and there are no lap dances on Lapland.

BTAM Master's avatar

Took the words out of my mouth about Lapland.

Tom Kerr's avatar

I should have read your response before I posted mine. Great minds....

M Q's avatar

Trump will get the green from Greenland by reselling it to Putin at a profit (to Trump).

Of course, Putin doesn't wont really need Greenland anymore. Trump's taking it will destroy NATO, which is Putin's real goal.

Martin pearson's avatar

Andy, I don’t know how you come up with this stuff. But it sure makes my day.

Jill's avatar

Don’t know and don’t care. I just LOVE it.

Ray Sturm's avatar

Every American should be ashamed and embarrassed that this dumbass is representing our country. His words and behavior are beyond comprehension. Is there anyone in Congress or the Supreme Court bold enough to scream ENOUGH! So far it seems only the Pope and the Episcopal Priest are the bravest so far. Maybe the Greenlanders could offer him an igloo in the coldest part of the region with that polar bear as a companion...Hmmm.

bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

Our MAGA congress and SCOTUS seem quite willing to play footsy with a raging,mentally deficient old fool.

As we saw again yesterday, there are slinkies instead of spines in the GOP senators.

Marjorie's avatar

Just when I think we're making a tiny bit of headway with disgruntled Repubs, they cave to pressure and backslide.

SCS - Michigan's avatar

Vance is giving trump a run for his money, literally and figuratively.

Al Gorythm's avatar

Not to fat shame, but these colors don’t run.

Ursula Kling's avatar

Don't forget bottom feeder. Steven Miller

L B Rose's avatar

Several brave governors are standing up too! And I bet Gov. Walz could do much better in Greenland's environment than Agent Orange.

Marion Mlotok's avatar

He's not representing our country. He's turning it and Europe over to Putin.

Annette's avatar

for a pat on his head and a seat at his feet

Marion Mlotok's avatar

And whatever Putin may have on him.

Sharon Herrick's avatar

Furious. Every American should be absolutely furious. Not just ashamed. Not just embarrassed. So irate and yet deadly cool that action is the only option. And so bold and courageous that they WILL act. I know you meant that, too. Cheers!

Nancy B's avatar

Love it! And Lapland, the home of laptops 😅.

Ruth Bromer's avatar

I'm going next month. I'll look for some laptops while I'm there. 🤣

Janeo's avatar

Please bring me a new one. Andy blew my old one up when I spit coffee all over the keyboard.

Annette's avatar

not to mention Finland, the home of fins (sharks!!) and Ireland, the home of our anger

GingerLee's avatar

a light in the dark... and now off to the inspired comments...

Pam Birkenfeld's avatar

It’s what I say when I read Dave Barry’s column, I arrive for the column and I stay for the comments.

WendyPollock's avatar

TBR is my salvation! Humor in dark times is the balm of bombs. THANKYOU!

Glenn Ebo Perry's avatar

Let’s get the Donald to conquer Fire Island. Close to the City, a soundtrack chock full of Village People hits, with only one drawback: non-stop critiques of his hair and garments, and biting, satirical fat shaming from buff young men.

Annette's avatar

OMG, best idea yet!! YMCA on endless loop, until it surpasses Havana Syndrome!

Clym Yeobright's avatar

“If I don’t take it, Russia or China will”

=

“We don’t want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud”

Condi is responsible for the enshittification of the Gullible Old Party, isn’t she?

modj's avatar

Excellent! (also horrifyingly accurate) thank you

Sandra Nicht's avatar

this will make a great protest chant too - simple, easy to learn...

Clym Yeobright's avatar

Now I’m scared too. Brilly!!!

C K Smith's avatar

The video is excellent! Now this is a great use of AI! (I presume it's AI, although it's pretty realistic.)

WoodsmanBob's avatar

"ICE Today........."Gas Chambers Tomorrow? Don't laugh, check your history ........

We cannot allow Trump's Gestopo to take over.

"Speak.......Shout "......."Write", but Do Something to express your Displeasure.

The Rickster's avatar

I vote for keeping “laugh” among actions in your list.

WoodsmanBob's avatar

Not a time to Laugh.......This is just a Rehearsal for what will happen if Trump is allowed to continue unabated by the Republican Majority who don't dare to speak up for Democracy.

Annette's avatar

there will be time for laughter, once we get our country back . . . and tRump can be shackled into a cage that fits him "just right" and be wheeled across the country, so hordes of citizens can laugh, point and throw ketchup at him

Paul's avatar

Andy, this must be a typo?

"Meanwhile, Trump ramped up his imperialist rhetoric, declaring that the US needed to own Lapland in order to corner the world market in laptops."

I'm pretty sure it should have read "Rump ramped up his pedofelic rhetoric, shouting the that he needed Lap Dance Land to corner the world market on lap dancers.

Kimberly Swanson's avatar

Too cold for lap dancers. But reindeer love Lapland. Keep Kristi away to save the reindeer!

John  (NJ-VT)'s avatar

This is truly nuts. Or someone is nuts. Any guy sitting in a bar in mid PA wearing camouflage and drinking bud is nuts. “Let’s take Greenland!” Our army is made up of degenerates - which Tillman found out first hand - and tanks/artillery outdated and in need of WD40 as the Trump parade showed. The artillery is going through ERAP evolutions.

This will be a ground fight at first. And that guy in the bar will be saying good bye to his 18 year old son since America has as much right to that mineral rich land as Russia or China.

After that “Toe to Toe Nuclear Combat with the Russkies”

And it has only been one year.

God save us. Really.

Frank D Repp's avatar

The latest: Donny is going to change the name of The White House to Trump-on-the-Potomic and charge the government rent.

Sean M Carlin's avatar

Should be Shitler on the Potomac!

Lucy K.'s avatar

Yes, the most fitting place for him, good suggestion Greenland! If it's small enough he can have it spray painted with gold leaf & rename it Goldland!

Linda MacDonald's avatar

Hilarious. I ❤️ Mr. Dorkelson! The really fascinating thing is, in 1917 the US bought what became known as the US Virgin Islands from Denmark! Empire and colonialism were alive and the cause of wars everywhere. So the fascist criminal in chief already could put his name all over the US Virgin Islands including jeffrey's "pedophile paradise". Here's a link to the history:

Colonial past and the US wish to buy Greenland | DIIS https://share.google/E5W0U4wjq27jeE5Ah