Greenland to Build Maximum-Security Prison for Pedophiles
NUUK, GREENLAND (The Borowitz Report)—The government of Greenland announced on Wednesday that it had begun construction in its northernmost region of a maximum-security prison for pedophiles.
The prison, which will house “the worst of the worst,” is a joint venture between Greenland and the nations of the European Union.
A Greenlandic government spokesperson, Hartvig Dorkelson, said that the construction of the prison “should not be seen as an act of provocation,” adding, “The only person who could be offended by this would be a pedophile.”
Greenland has got this under control.
Andy, this may sound crazy, but we clearly live in incomprehensibly crazy times, getting worse every day.. Every specie in the world is quickly spiraling towards our own mass extermination, all at the whim of patient #1 and a small group of his immune co conspirators.
Yet we may be able to save every specie from this unforced error thru satire.
Satire is common sense written in humor, and TBR might be able to save us all from self extinction with something as simple as an “Epitaph Contest”.
Contestants can publish epitaphs on TBR for themselves, or America, or the World as we know it, or preferably a specific epitaph for patient #1.
TBR readers can preemptively immortalize our final thought on this shit show in an epitaph on gravestone that no one on the planet will be left to read.
My entry: “Here lies America, 1776 - 2026, at 250 she died from apathy of leadership”