Greenlanders Strand Don Jr. on Ice Floe
GREENLAND (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump Jr.’s fact-finding trip to Greenland ended disastrously on Friday after the convicted felon’s namesake became stranded on an ice floe.
Observers said that a group of local fisherman whom the younger Trump had been hectoring threw a large net over him and dragged him to the sheet of ice, which measured approximately five feet in diameter.
Trump was heard screaming for help as the floe drifted off into the Arctic Ocean and disappeared over the horizon.
A government spokesman, Hartvig Dorkelson, called the incident “regrettable,” adding, “It’s a shame he was not still with Kimberly Guilfoyle. Her screams would have been heard.”
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Thanks for injecting much-needed hilarity into our darkening world. I am pushing 86, and wondering if I can survive four more years of the Odious Toad!