Hegseth Bans Microphones at Pentagon After Press Briefings Make Him Sound Like Idiot
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth imposed a total ban on microphones at the Pentagon on Friday, complaining that press briefings were making him sound “like a giant idiot.”
“I’ve been watching so-called news coverage of me and every word out of my mouth sounds stupider than the last,” he said. “…