How To Fix Soccer by Donald Trump

TBR World Cup Exclusive

Felipe

Jul 07, 2026

∙ Paid

FIFA President Gianni Infantino explains a piece of soccer equipment to a new fan of the sport. (Photo by Jim WATSON / AFP)

TBR WORLD CUP EXCLUSIVE—The Borowitz Report has obtained the following late-night message from Donald J. Trump to FIFA President Gianni Infantino:

Dear Gianni,

What the hell? I thought you were my best friend. And now I wake up for my…

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A guest post by

Felipe

From a country you misspell. Author of “America, Let Me In: A Choose Your Immigration Story.” WGA and Peabody Award-winning writer for The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.