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The Borowitz Report

If Other US Wars Had Gone Like Iran

TBR Sunday Read

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Carlos Greaves
Jun 21, 2026
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Now that the US and Iran have signed a “memorandum of understanding,” it’s a good time to ask: what has Trump’s war accomplished?

There are two schools of thought. The Trump administration and MAGA loyalists insist that the war was an unmitigated triumph. The rest of the country (and the world) believe the war was a humiliating dumpster fire that has permanently tarnished America’s reputation.

In the interest of fairness, TBR has conducted a rigorous analysis of other American conflicts in order to objectively determine how the Iran war stacks up. Below are the White House press statements we believe this administration would have issued if Trump had presided over those wars:

The Revolutionary War

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A guest post by
Carlos Greaves
Former electrical engineer turned professional comedy writer fighting the power joyfully. If you're as angry about the state of the world as I am, come have a laugh with me.
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