JD Vance Admits Receiving Payments from Maybelline
www.borowitzreport.com
JD Vance Admits Receiving Payments from Maybelline
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—JD Vance found himself embroiled in scandal on the eve of Tuesday’s vice-presidential debate amid reports that he had accepted payments from the makeup brand Maybelline.
According to the reports, the Ohio senator received in excess of $62,000 in exchange for wearing Maybelline’s Tattoo Studio Smokey Gel Pencil Eyeliner during his acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention.
A defiant Vance told reporters that the money he accepted from Maybelline did not “in any way influence my decision to use their eyeliner, which has been my go-to makeup product since high school.”
Lashing out at his accusers, the senator said, “If wanting to look beautiful is a crime, I plead guilty.”
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Announcing my Election Therapy Show!
Who is joining me tonight for the live chat during the JD Vance Shitshow presented by Maybelline?
What is most surprising is that JD Vance's makeup artist is the former drag queen, GOP House Representative, pathological liar and felon, George Santos. It's a makeover similar to the Frankenstein story.