J.D. Vance Brainstorming Ways to Alienate Owners of Birds, Fish
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Senator J.D. Vance is “working overtime” to concoct statements that will offend the nation’s owners of pet birds and fish, the Republican VP nominee confirmed on Friday.
“I would have loved to infuriate the country’s dog owners, but Kristi Noem got to them first,” he said. “Still, that leaves m…