The Borowitz Report

The Borowitz Report

Share this post

The Borowitz Report
The Borowitz Report
JD Vance Cancels Speech After Running out of Eyeliner
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More

JD Vance Cancels Speech After Running out of Eyeliner

Aug 15, 2024
∙ Paid
867

Share this post

The Borowitz Report
The Borowitz Report
JD Vance Cancels Speech After Running out of Eyeliner
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
108
67
Share
Drew Angerer/Getty Images

MILWAUKEE (The Borowitz Report)—JD Vance abruptly cancelled a campaign appearance after discovering he had run out of eyeliner, sources close to the vice-presidential nominee confirmed on Thursday.

According to the sources, Vance flew into a rage when he opened his makeup bag in his hotel room and found that his favorite item, M…

This post is for paid subscribers

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in
© 2025 Andy Borowitz
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture

Share

Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More