The Borowitz Report

The Borowitz Report

JD Vance Freaks Out After Tariffs Hike Price of Eyeliner

Apr 08, 2025
∙ Paid
1,485
699
164
Share
Drew Angerer/Getty Images

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In the latest illustration of the tensions roiling the White House, on Tuesday JD Vance reportedly “blew his stack” when he learned that newly instituted tariffs had sent the price of his favorite eyeliner brand soaring.

According to sources, Vance demanded a meeting with Commerce Secretary Howard…

This post is for paid subscribers

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in
© 2025 Andy Borowitz
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture