The Borowitz Report

The Borowitz Report

Share this post

The Borowitz Report
The Borowitz Report
JD Vance to Represent Satan at Pope's Funeral
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More

JD Vance to Represent Satan at Pope's Funeral

Apr 24, 2025
∙ Paid
2,537

Share this post

The Borowitz Report
The Borowitz Report
JD Vance to Represent Satan at Pope's Funeral
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
975
272
Share
Jeff Swensen/Getty Images

VATICAN CITY (The Borowitz Report)—JD Vance will represent Satan at Pope Francis’s funeral this weekend, the Devil confirmed on Thursday.

In a rare public statement, the Prince of Darkness said that he could not attend the funeral himself because it conflicts with a Tesla board meeting.

Explaining his choice of Vance, Beelzebub sa…

This post is for paid subscribers

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in
© 2025 Andy Borowitz
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture

Share

Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More