JD Vance Tries to Sound Like Regular Guy by Claiming He Had Sex With a Donut

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PITTSBURGH (The Borowitz Report)—In a doomed effort to come off like a regular guy, JD Vance boasted to reporters on Monday that he had sex with a donut.

“Having sex with a donut is something that solid, normal people do all the time, and so obviously that’s something I’ve done,” he said. “I’d like to see so-called ‘Coach Walz’ h…