531 Comments
User's avatar
Andy Borowitz's avatar

HAPPY FRIDAY, FRIENDS!

Expand full comment
Karen Rodd's avatar

Time to replace the expression “like a deer in the headlights” with the updated version “like a Patel under the hot lights”.

Expand full comment
Double-A's avatar

In the late 1980s, the joke was "I almost ran into a deer that looked like Dan Quayle caught in the headlights"

Expand full comment
John Townsend's avatar

It probably was Dan Quayle searching for a wild potatoe for dinner.

Expand full comment
Frau Katze's avatar

lol 😺

Expand full comment
Alan's avatar
1hEdited

While it was easy to satirize Dan Quayle, he deserves a pass on this unjustly famous story where he was foiled by a teacher's spelling error on the flash cards the school handed him and confirmed were double checked:

https://publicapologycentral.com/apologia-archive/political-2/dan-quayle-potato-incident/

By the way, would you like fries with that? 😉🍟

Expand full comment
Sooz Hall's avatar

Thank you, I’d forgotten that one! 🤣😂😆

Expand full comment
Susie's avatar

Oh, very well done, Karen. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Expand full comment
John Townsend's avatar

Patel in the poop deck?

Patel popping out all over?

Expand full comment
Alan's avatar
8hEdited

I'm a bit surprised he's replacing Patel with a deer (presumably with customized headlights) -- since adding another horny leadership team member keeps the Epstein case in the media Headlines. 😉🦌

Expand full comment
Frau Katze's avatar

Excellent! 😺😺

Expand full comment
MJDurb's avatar

Andy, have an uneventful, wear jammies all day kind of weekend. We all need a few days off from, well, everything.

Expand full comment
Susan von Beethoven's avatar

I Never need a day off from Andy. He is responsible for my sanity.

Expand full comment
Mary Roeser's avatar

Happy Friday to you, too!!

Expand full comment
Frau Katze's avatar

This is hilarious! 😺😺😺

Expand full comment
PRL's avatar

Happy Friday, Mr. Borowitz—in keeping with the situation!

Expand full comment
Klara Berne's avatar

Thanks for the laugh! :-)

Expand full comment
David Itkin's avatar

Seems like a natural. Trump prefers “fawning” sycophants.

Expand full comment
Mary Tomaszewski's avatar

Perfect!

Expand full comment
Irna Gadd's avatar

Slam dunk!!!!

Expand full comment
Marmo's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣! Well said, David Itkin.

Expand full comment
Pat Ebervein's avatar

OMG ya kinda sorta outAndied Andy with that statement, David. (But please don’t tell him I said so!😉

Expand full comment
zioBob's avatar

I was just going to say that . . . darn . . . late again . . .

Expand full comment
Gerry Boyce's avatar

ROFL

Expand full comment
Suzanne Gilman's avatar

Genius

Expand full comment
AVee. (Alexia)'s avatar

🤣🤣

Expand full comment
Candy C's avatar

LOL

Expand full comment
Brenda Reiss's avatar

😜

Expand full comment
Erik Staub's avatar

clever

Expand full comment
Ransom Rideout's avatar

As in random sexual gratifications? They do drop, sometimes.....

Expand full comment
Marilyn Jackson's avatar

Good one! 🤣

Expand full comment
John Townsend's avatar

--who will lock horns behind the scenes!

Expand full comment
Rrboyer's avatar

Pun-tasting!!

Expand full comment
Caitriona Gillespie's avatar

Oh, deer! Who'll be replaced next? _Please_ say RFK Jr.!

Expand full comment
Bobbie75's avatar

With a bear cub? With a Whale Head? With the brain worm that ate his brain?

Expand full comment
Lee Hodo's avatar

no, with an ass.

Expand full comment
Mary Roeser's avatar

As with the deer and Give me Kash, the jackass is way more suitable, fit, qualified and capable for HHS Secretary than Brain Worm is or could ever hope to be.

Expand full comment
Leslie  Gottshall-Decker's avatar

Asses are more intelligent. Don’t insult them, they know what they want, they don’t “flip-flop.”

Expand full comment
John Townsend's avatar

--and not the kind you can grab....

Expand full comment
Sooz Hall's avatar

Yeah, grab one of those asses and you’ll soon find out that your kind of lettuce doesn’t cut it with deer. *Most* especially if the female deer thinks you miss be a threat to her underaged offspring…

Expand full comment
Sooz Hall's avatar

Whoops, meant “asses”.

Expand full comment
Marmo's avatar

Any of those would be an improvement, Bobbie75.

Expand full comment
Bobbie75's avatar

He wanted to be president. This is his consolation prize for giving trump his voters. Can you imagine? The only person close to as loony as the idiot in office.

Expand full comment
Marmo's avatar

I wish that Patel is the only person as loony as the Orange Shame. But, Patel is certainly at the top of the list.

Expand full comment
Charles Wagner's avatar

It is a mighty long list...

Expand full comment
Barry Blue's avatar

There’s Laura Looney

Expand full comment
Kate Decker's avatar

Yes.

Expand full comment
C. Killion's avatar

Worm is finishing up Bobby’s brain, is hoping to move to someone who shakes hands a lot.

Expand full comment
Brenda Reiss's avatar

Any of thise would be an improvement.

Expand full comment
Susan Stone's avatar

You know I hate to insult any animal, but I'm afraid that the poor brainworm got infected with whatever weird disease RFK Jr. has - one of the negative consequences of eating his brain.

Expand full comment
Mary Schweitzer's avatar

With -15 years of heroin addiction?

Expand full comment
John Townsend's avatar

--and how many years of Trump addiction?

Expand full comment
Jill Burkoff's avatar

The worm

Expand full comment
John Townsend's avatar

The worm has already replaced him.

Expand full comment
Jonathan Aborn's avatar

MAGA Make America Gamey Again

Expand full comment
Linda MacDonald's avatar

I voted for The Worm. rfkjr is a degenerate, but I've read somewhere that some worms can RE-generate.

Expand full comment
Erik Staub's avatar

My the tribe is so clever

Expand full comment
John Townsend's avatar

Certainly not his worm?

Expand full comment
Margaret Zwald's avatar

Oh yes - replace him with the worm.

Expand full comment
Hugh Jarce's avatar

He'll be replaced by an ant eater due to the facial similarity.

Expand full comment
John Townsend's avatar

Any healthy, inert vegetable will do to round out this Trumpian diet!

Expand full comment
John Whikehart's avatar

At least we know that the buck will stop there.

Expand full comment
SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

lol ouch

Expand full comment
John Townsend's avatar

Rim shot!

Expand full comment
Marmo's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣!

Expand full comment
John Townsend's avatar

Bada Boom! (Rim shot)

Expand full comment
John Townsend's avatar

--and the fawining will go on forever!

Expand full comment
Frau Katze's avatar

Good one! 😺😺😺

Expand full comment
Patris's avatar

I am laughing so damn hard now…

Expand full comment
Roger Fradenburgh's avatar

I pray thee draw near, Kash my dear, and lend me your ear

And be of good cheer, ee'n though this is news you would rather not hear

Although to your ears it might sound truly queer...

It was really no contest - we've all picked the deer.

Expand full comment
John Townsend's avatar

--You've been beaten by a hoof.

You'll be pushed off a roof!

Expand full comment
skayen's avatar

Bravo!!

Expand full comment
Elaine Fleming's avatar

Ditto!

Expand full comment
Yva's avatar

a deer responds in real time to real situations. this is abnormal for the current administration so i don't think the deer will last long in this position... snopish read-out: too good to be true

Expand full comment
Andy Borowitz's avatar

He will be replaced by dead beer, a dismember whale head, or a worm.

Expand full comment
Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

A dead beer??? That's flat out the worst!

Expand full comment
John Townsend's avatar

--like all Trump picks are flat-out the worst!

Expand full comment
Sooz Hall's avatar

FLATTENING (damn u spell check…)

Expand full comment
Sooz Hall's avatar

Like 47 is flattering out … despite his growing enormity!

Expand full comment
L B Rose's avatar

Might be a good approach to ward off stagflation....although that's an issue for a different department....

Expand full comment
Marmo's avatar

The deer won't last long if Crispy Gnome (sport) of bobFKjr (dinner) catch sight of it.

Expand full comment
Elisabeth Birker's avatar

😂😂. We can always hope.

Expand full comment
Double-A's avatar

Hopefully the new nominee will speed thru Senate confirmation like a gazelle!

Expand full comment
Lee Howell's avatar

According to SNL Weekend Update, this is a picture of Patel realizing it wasn't just a fart.

Expand full comment
Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

OMG!!! ROTFLMAO!!!

Expand full comment
John Townsend's avatar

He can borrow a diaper from Donald!

Expand full comment
Susan Stone's avatar

Very accurate description. Thank you for sharing it.

Expand full comment
Frau Katze's avatar

Hilarious! 😺😺

Expand full comment
Mary Sue Palazzari's avatar

A deer has a lot more street cred.

Expand full comment
Linda Guffin's avatar

The deer do seem to understand danger and safety better than Kash. They roam in yards but look before crossing the highway. I’m not kidding.

Expand full comment
Mauimom's avatar

We're not counting "dead on the side of the road" as "street cred" are we?

Expand full comment
Mary Sue Palazzari's avatar

LOL! Gosh, I sure hope not!

Expand full comment
misia.d's avatar

Think of all the deer that aren’t dead.

Expand full comment
Pam Reese's avatar

I am laughing so hard I can’t choose between the deer and what’s his name

Expand full comment
Stephen White's avatar

A doe is in the know. A buck will bring good luck. Either is better than a hypocrite.

Expand full comment
Nancy Gold's avatar

Thanks, Andy. Who doesn’t need a laugh right about now?!!

Expand full comment
Stressed Sue's avatar

Love the smell of Andy Borowitz joy every morning. Breathe it in, and life feels almost normal! Thank you, you deer satirist.

Expand full comment
Kate Decker's avatar

:-) !!

Expand full comment
Abigail's avatar

Seriously now: at the end of his remarks at the press conference announcing the arrest of Tyler Robinson, Kash Patel said, “Meet you in Valhalla, Charlie.” “Meet you in Valhalla” is a white supremacist catchphrase. Right out in the open.

Expand full comment
Andy Borowitz's avatar

I hope in Valhalla Thor hammers all of these losers in the nuts

Expand full comment
meryl selig's avatar

And the Valkyries emasculate them at the same time

Expand full comment
Susie's avatar

Right. In. The. NUTS!!! 🤣🤣🤣

Expand full comment
Pam Birkenfeld's avatar

What makes Kash think that all those white guys would even let him in into Valhalla?

Expand full comment
SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

How interesting! Where did you find this out?

Expand full comment
Abigail's avatar

I’d previously read about white supremacist groups embracing Norse mythology imagery, so it jumped out at me when I heard it. So I googled the phrase.

Expand full comment
Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Sadly true - they adore Wodan. As did, also very sadly, another antisemite, Carl Jung. So much misappropriated ancient culture resurrected as a dog whistle for violent modern shit-for-brains.

Expand full comment
Frau Katze's avatar

Most white supremicists wouldn’t consider Kash to be one of them. He’d be turned back!

Expand full comment
Abigail's avatar

Of course, the Aryans originally came from India.

Expand full comment
Frau Katze's avatar

True. If there’s an educated white supremicist on guard at Valhalla, he’s in luck! 😺

Expand full comment
John Townsend's avatar

Not surprised!

Expand full comment
Raymond T Sawyer's avatar

Thanks. Andy! Bright lights in a dark atmosphere. Your parents, both of whom I knew, would be exceptionally proud!

Expand full comment