LEAKED: Suggested Slogans for Marco Rubio’s 2028 Campaign

TBR Sunday Read

Ginny Hogan

Jul 19, 2026

∙ Paid

TBR EXCLUSIVE—The Borowitz Report has obtained the following top-secret memo from the Marco Rubio for President Committee, listing possible slogans for the Secretary of State’s 2028 campaign:

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A guest post by

Ginny Hogan

Writer/stand up/person. Please pre-order my new book OBEY IN ADVANCE: https://store.mcsweeneys.net/products/obey-in-advance-how-to-survive-and-thrive-under-authoritarianism?taxon_id=1