483 Comments
User's avatar
Susan Mongar's avatar

Melania is clearly musing that the wrong man died.

Expand full comment
Andy Borowitz's avatar

This is as happy as I’ve ever seen her.

Expand full comment
Ole Anderson's avatar

Another commenter stated that this was the first time he had slept beside her in at least ten years.

Expand full comment
Shirley Peck's avatar

That’s a good one.

Expand full comment
Rich Snow's avatar

Oh, that is the best.

Expand full comment
Warren Standley's avatar

LOL!

Expand full comment
Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Ole…🤣…thank you!

Expand full comment
Claudia L Shambaugh's avatar

Tusind tak, Ole.

Expand full comment
Lucy's avatar

Love!!

Expand full comment
L. R. Abramson's avatar

And she still looks miserable to me. Deservedly so at that.

Expand full comment
Judy Shaffer's avatar

She made her bed, literally & figuratively. I have absolutely no sympathy or empathy for her. "I really don't care, do U?"

Expand full comment
Michael L Flynn's avatar

I must respectfully disagree. I doubt if she's ever made a bed in her life. Or mopped a floor. Or cooked a meal. Or did laundry. Or washed a dish. Or did anything we peasants do every day.

Expand full comment
Judy Shaffer's avatar

You make a good point.

Expand full comment
Susan Stone's avatar

My thoughts, exactly. I wonder if she flew over on a different plane?

Expand full comment
L. R. Abramson's avatar

Maybe same plane, different broomstick?

Expand full comment
Susan Stone's avatar

Same broomstick would be way too close for comfort.

Expand full comment
L. R. Abramson's avatar

Now, remember, Susan, you put this idea in my head. Got it? You are responsible.

For anyone of worth, yes. For them, it would be easier, when they are arrested for crimes against the state and humanity, to grill them if they're on one skewer.

Proud of yourself?

Expand full comment
Cass's avatar

😂 Good one, Susan.

Expand full comment
SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

or a broom?

Expand full comment
Lois W. Halbert's avatar

I agree. When I saw her at the Easter egg hunt she looked angry and sad. Her wrinkles are showing so more botox is needed. Do I feel sorry for her? No. She could have left long ago and gotten Barron out of that sick environment. She is praying every nite for the same thing we pray for.

Expand full comment
Olivia Ward's avatar

Of course she does. She just leaned over to see if he was still breathing...and was sadly disappointed.

Expand full comment
Alan's avatar
2dEdited

Andy -- Perhaps she had just finished playing a game of Monopoly with him and he drew the card that said, "Go directly to Hades. Do not pass Go. Do not cut out "Melanie" with your prenup. Do not collect $200M".🤔

Expand full comment
Rosemary Ehle's avatar

Wouldn't be great if she filed for divorce? "Please respect our privacy during this difficult time". BWAHAHAHAHA

Have a blast tomorrow night, Andy!

Expand full comment
L A Middlesteadt's avatar

And we could all send Thoughts and Prayers!!!

Expand full comment
Cass's avatar

Oh God

Expand full comment
Phyllis Logan's avatar

I was almost giddy at the thought of him being out of the country - even for 5 minutes - I don't care where he goes, as long as he stays gone.

Expand full comment
Cathy Wampler's avatar

Me, too! Also mused about Air Force One mechanical failures over the Atlantic.

Expand full comment
Kandy Brown's avatar

Save that for when the entire cabinet is on board. It'd solve all our problem all at once.

Expand full comment
Frances López's avatar

But what about press people? If they are "the good ones." And Secret Service detail? I worry about "the innocents" who are just doing their jobs.

Expand full comment
Kandy Brown's avatar

That is true. Does he let any of the "good press" on the plane any more? But you are right about the Secret Service. Poor guys must hate their job. I CERTAINLY WOULD NOT take a bullet for him. I'd duck!

Expand full comment
Peaceful Mary T.'s avatar

As an avowed atheist, I rarely pray, but boy was I busy praying for that on Saturday!

Expand full comment
CARLA M LA ROSA's avatar

"Almighty" God could do something to hasten Trump's arrival in Hades. Until HE does, I remain unbelieving.

Expand full comment
Annette's avatar

not one single bird was available to fly into the engine???

Expand full comment
Yale Sussman's avatar

Out of professional courtesy

Expand full comment
Yale Sussman's avatar

The sharks will spit him out.

Expand full comment
Annette's avatar

but I've heard they have underwater turbines now, so if the sharks don't get him, the windmills will

Expand full comment
John Silas "Si" Hopkins, III's avatar

He blew it with the sharks when he attacked us lawyers who are their old friends. My paralegal used to call me Whitey the Shark or The White Shark due to my (no longer) prematurely white hair.

Expand full comment
M.E. Lawrence's avatar

Yeah, weird; I would not have recognized her without Andy's clarification. Are you sure that's Melania, and not the muse of tragedy?

Expand full comment
LES Bennett's avatar

Good observation, Andy!

Expand full comment
Yale Sussman's avatar

Andy, that's a great pic. I wonder if some opportunist managed to steal his handbag with Rx and nuclear codes

Expand full comment
Yale Sussman's avatar

Yes, she is happy in this pre-golf course pose.

Expand full comment
Alan's avatar

Andy -- On a separate note -- this news is perfect fodder for the TBR:

"President Trump signed an executive order on Monday that requires commercial truck drivers in the United States to be proficient in English.

The text of the order acknowledges the essential role that truck drivers play in the U.S. economy and the livelihood of American people."

Expand full comment
Clym Yeobright's avatar

As I understand it, this mimicked his one visit to Slovenia, when he flew over for lunch with her parents and left the same day. You can tell from the picture the lady has a ton of memories, none pleasant …

Expand full comment
Michael L Flynn's avatar

Actually, her parents were well to do communists. She lived far better than most.

Expand full comment
Irna Gadd's avatar

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Expand full comment
John Townsend's avatar

Not muses, she knows!

Expand full comment
Meryl Lynn Straid's avatar

I wish that were true but I’m afraid Melania sold her soul to the devil decades ago. I have zero respect or concern for her.

Expand full comment
SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

LOL

Expand full comment
kdsherpa's avatar

Not just a four-year-old. A four-year-old girl with Stage IV of a rare cancer. She will die because she cannot continue her treatment. Surely God will see that as murder of an innocent.

Expand full comment
pilgrimRVW's avatar

Republican lawmakers’ budget policies will result in many thousands of premature, preventable deaths, a thing usually referred to as mass murder. Ergo, any lawmaker who votes for the Republican budget is a mass murderer.

Expand full comment
Patrick Tally's avatar

It's well known the GOP 'Right to Life' crowd don't give a sh*t about living past the exit of the womb. Meanwhile deaths at birth in US for Mother & infants rise, due to repressive pregnancy laws.

Expand full comment
John Silas "Si" Hopkins, III's avatar

For the "Right To Life" freaks, the right to life begins at conception and ends at birth. The only thing "right" about them is their fascist extremism.

Expand full comment
kdsherpa's avatar

Your definition of "Life" as defined by the freaks is the best I've read: the right to be birthed. After that, who gives a sh*t.

Expand full comment
Octavia Redwood's avatar

And he spoke so dismissively about Day Care during the campaign, like it was a nothing, easy problem to fix(if you throw enough money at it-at first, then abandon the project and declare it a success.). Now he thinks he can buy women off with $5G's for giving birth (after that you're on your own and we can't profit from it so why waste our time. Not our problem.Besides we solved it).

Expand full comment
Kandy Brown's avatar

Welcome to the Republic of Gilead. And the Commanders didn't even need to overthrow the U.S. government. The Handmaid's Tale is not fiction anymore!

Expand full comment
Annette's avatar

I'm waiting for the fine print on the $5K kid bonus . . . I'm sure certain restrictions apply.

Expand full comment
Octavia Redwood's avatar

exactly-offer only applies to those Caucasian, properly Christian, Republican, and flying a Trump flag outside. No people of color, Jews, those who speak other languages, the differently abled, or medically compromised. Birth certificates must be imprinted on rooftops to allow for proper surveillance.

Expand full comment
Annette's avatar

<golf clap>

Expand full comment
William R MEYER's avatar

Seth Meyers had a comment about the $5G. "It's like getting a dollar off coupon at your Mercedes dealer."

Expand full comment
Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

I agree 💯 Pro-life = Pro-birth, period.

Expand full comment
Octavia Redwood's avatar

In theory, of course. In real life....

Expand full comment
Michael Stayton's avatar

Watch and listen to George Carlin explain our future in 1996 about abortion.

https://youtu.be/YpFYpoIwQec

Expand full comment
SUZANNE Marie McAdam's avatar

Michael, thank you so much for sharing this.

Carlin is brilliant, as always. I really enjoyed it.

Expand full comment
kdsherpa's avatar

Perfect.

Expand full comment
bitchybitchybitchy's avatar

Children in the Global South have already died as a result of Trump/Musk shutting down USAID.

Expand full comment
Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Thank you for informing us -- I didn't realize that the consequences of Trump / Musk shutting down USAID were already transpiring. Makes sense, of course. Horribly. My God/S, this breaks my heart.

Expand full comment
kdsherpa's avatar

Will a single one of the repugnicants even think of such a thing? No hearts. No brains.

Expand full comment
Robot Bender's avatar

Just greed.

Expand full comment
Annette's avatar

no souls

Expand full comment
William R MEYER's avatar

Cruelty is the point. Reducing people to objects, makes it easier to let them die. Calling them illegals reduces them. Calling them drug dealers, gang members, wife beaters, criminals take away their humanity. The commandant of a German death camp was asked why he treated the Jews so badly since he was just going to kill them anyway. He said it was for the sake of his men. If he didn't dehumanize the Jews, it bothered his men when they killed them.

I watched ICE Agents during Trump's first administration rip a small screaming child out her mother's arms. I wondered at the time. How! How could someone go home to their own children. How could they pray and ask God for mercy.

I imagine one rule that ICE has is above all is- no cameras.

Expand full comment
kdsherpa's avatar

"The commandant of a German death camp was asked why he treated the Jews so badly since he was just going to kill them anyway. He said it was for the sake of his men. IF HE DIDN'T DEHUMANIZE THE JEWS, IT BOTHERED HIS MEN WHEN THEY KILLED THEM." That is the most horrifying thing I have ever read.

Expand full comment
Annette's avatar

I was going to say the same thing. GOP - the party of dehumanization. Terrifying.

Expand full comment
Clym Yeobright's avatar

Dust in the wind. To the trumps and their ilk, all we are is dust in the wind

Expand full comment
Judy Shaffer's avatar

Can we see it any other way but as a death sentence for a child. Disgusting beyond belief.

Expand full comment
Andy Weitz's avatar

Gd will. MAGATs won’t. Only a woman’s reproductive freedom is considered infanticide by them.

Expand full comment
Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

This is a travesty of a million proportions!

Expand full comment
Joe Melton's avatar

God sort of overlooked those thousands of Covid deaths due to trump’s ineptitude.

Expand full comment
Mary Roeser's avatar

I am sure He will because that is exactly what it is.

Expand full comment
Andy Borowitz's avatar

Happy Sunday, everyone!

Expand full comment
Italien's avatar

Hey hey hey!! Thanks for this, and our favorite new adjective - assholic!😂😏

Expand full comment
John Silas "Si" Hopkins, III's avatar

For Easter Trump served a ration of hatred for his enemies. Franciscus served a feast of love for his enemies . . . and, of course, for all of humanity.

This was the third and greatest funeral/memorial service of recent days: First, Queen Elizabeth; then President Carter; and now Franciscus. If only our present leaders had one iota of their grace and virtue.

Expand full comment
Bobbie75's avatar

It shows what people value. I hope the felon is out of office when his funeral is held, pretty sure no one would care if he was gone then, just fade away.

Expand full comment
Annette's avatar

it frosts me that as a former president, he'll be entitled to a state funeral, but I refuse to watch and hope to be celebrating our country's "liberation day"

Expand full comment
Bobbie75's avatar

Why I hope he is out of office when it happens. Not to mention having Vance in office. 🤢

Expand full comment
Patti's avatar

To you as well, carissimo Andy! And to everyone on this thread.

Expand full comment
Annette's avatar

and also with you... a little late on my part :-S

Expand full comment
Steve Lang's avatar

i hope god will soon help me reach my goal, which is to read nothing about trxmp, unless it’s his obit.

Expand full comment
Barry Blue's avatar

I said that after the inauguration, the media should never use its name. Just “the President did this today or said this today.” And no pictures. His head would explode.

Expand full comment
Dawn Kucera's avatar

I agree! there is a movement to have people stop using his name. I variably use 47, Cheeto Head, and Agent Orange. Spread the word!!

Expand full comment
The BobCaster's avatar

I've started using the name Trumpty-Dumpty.

Just waiting for the inevitable fall, when all of Musk's Tesla's and all of his Muskrats can't put him together again.

Expand full comment
Elizabeth Lapeyre's avatar

CF47!

Expand full comment
Barbara Handler's avatar

Felon 47 almost rhymes.

Expand full comment
M.E. Lawrence's avatar

Mary L. Trump thinks we should all call him Donald, so now I usually do.

Expand full comment
Annette's avatar

I prefer ConOLD - a two-fer!

Expand full comment
Stan Duffner's avatar

If you work at it a little you can keep from capitalizing anything to do with him

Expand full comment
Pearl's avatar

you'll have to shut off spell check!

Expand full comment
meryl selig's avatar

The media need to stop using the T word. What people like us do…. Comment among ourselves…. Won’t change the nomenclature

Expand full comment
Susan E Keezer's avatar

It is far too late, Meryl. The media should have stopped when he first announced he would be running for POTUS. He didn't need to campaign because the media did it for him. You could not turn on the news (TV or radio) at any given time without hearing his name or seeing his face. He was always on the front page of every newspaper. And now he is turning on the press...a dog biting the hand that fed him.

Expand full comment
Cathy Wampler's avatar

I cannot refer to him as “President” because he does not fit the qualifications.

Expand full comment
Warren Standley's avatar

Kudos!!!

Expand full comment
Penny Pawl's avatar

I call him 47 and thats it.

Expand full comment
Hugh Jarce's avatar

But please consider...the orange corksoaker.

Expand full comment
Mary-Chilton van Hees's avatar

The Administration is a good option.

Expand full comment
Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

Actually junta has a nice ring too.

Expand full comment
Yale Sussman's avatar

How about The Abomination?

Expand full comment
dominique smith's avatar

Just “47”, and future history books should do the same…

Expand full comment
Frances López's avatar

I've noticed that Lawrence O'Donnell always just uses 47's name & NEVER have I heard Mr. O'Donnell refer to the unworthy DJT as "President." O'Donnell respects the office of the President, not the current office holder.

Expand full comment
MARGARET KENDALL's avatar

He doesn't fit the title of president. 47 it is, for me.

Expand full comment
Annette's avatar

I think this could be a future TBR post - favorite names for Captain Chaos, the Commander in Cheat, the bloated yam . . . oh what fun!

Expand full comment
Joan Shapiro's avatar

I wish msnbc had figured that out instead of starting every sentence with his name for the past ten years. If we had all ignored him he would have shriveled up and died istead of becoming president… TWICE! Too late now.

Expand full comment
Sarah McAuliffe-Bellin's avatar

I gotta admit when the pope was ill in hospital I was praying that he would outlive our American dictator. Not to be.

Expand full comment
Robot Bender's avatar

We can hope he whispers in God's ear.

Expand full comment
Gerry Boyce's avatar

Your mouth to God’s ears.

Expand full comment
Michael L Flynn's avatar

I have a friend with that same philosophy. He always says, " I don't want to hear that name unless you're telling me he's dead."

Expand full comment
Cande Carroll's avatar

Heavenly essay!

Expand full comment
Kate Decker's avatar

:-) !! nice wit.

Expand full comment
The Rickster's avatar

Helluva essay.

Expand full comment
flo chapgier's avatar

It was very fairplay from the Almighty not to take into account the color of the suit.

Expand full comment
Alan's avatar

Flo -- The key point is that his future suits be made from asbestos regardless of the color.

Expand full comment
Ann Rock's avatar

I recently saw a clip of him commenting how amazing asbestos is so that should make him happy…(and I’m not kidding)

Expand full comment
flo chapgier's avatar

Do they still make those ? 😳

Expand full comment
Al Keim's avatar

Manville Fashions, the Brimstone is their most popular cut.

Expand full comment
Alan's avatar

Flo -- with all the regulations from the EPA, FDA etc. being lifted, these suits may make a comeback.

Expand full comment
flo chapgier's avatar

Exactly what I was thinking. Hopeful. 🙏🏽

Expand full comment
Susan Stone's avatar

I think they should be exclusively available to republican legislators, cabinet members, the entire executive branch (with the exception of honest prosecutors in the DOJ, inspectors general, and other good people).

Expand full comment
flo chapgier's avatar

Very generous of you Susan 🫠

Expand full comment
Annette's avatar

then again, something extremely flammable and a church candle gone haywire . . ? Just sayin'

Expand full comment
The BobCaster's avatar

I did note that Melania had the decency to wear black.

Expand full comment
Michael L Flynn's avatar

She's mourning her sham marriage.

Expand full comment
Warren Standley's avatar

Do we know whether Melania's outfit said "I really don't care. Do you?" on the back?

Expand full comment
The BobCaster's avatar

I haven't seen a report on that.

Pretty sure it wouldn't say "Be Best."

Expand full comment
Michael L Flynn's avatar

He was probably thankful Dopey wasn't wearing one of his MAGAt hats (Made in China).

Expand full comment
Annette's avatar

omg, can you imagine?? He got the attention he wanted sticking out in blue, but that nasty red hat would have been too much!

Expand full comment
Clym Yeobright's avatar

Not so much the color as the SIZE! It could have been made from one of the parachutes from elon’s spaceship. No, wait. TWO parachutes

Expand full comment
Irna Gadd's avatar

Hilarious! I especially like the shout out to Sleepy Joe - proves that nicknames don’t necessarily mean a thing.

Expand full comment
Andy Borowitz's avatar

Except for Lyin’ Ted

Expand full comment
Jay F's avatar

And Little Marco.

Expand full comment
Susan Stone's avatar

As a Texan, I really appreciate your comment.

Expand full comment
Michael L Flynn's avatar

You must admit that most of Trump's nicknames are just projections.

Expand full comment
Patti's avatar

To paraphrase Deborah Mitford, I will admit. Just waiting for “Little Mushroom.”

Expand full comment
Irna Gadd's avatar

Of course. I liked rubbing his nose in that particular one - not that he reads TBR, but still …

Expand full comment
Bartlett Hayes's avatar

47 only slurs others with epithets than apply more aptly to himself. Crooked, lying, sleepy…. All except little which applies to his hands and maybe something else?

Expand full comment
Kathy's avatar

the mushroom!

Expand full comment
Patti's avatar

Maybe?

Expand full comment
Mauimom's avatar

At least Trump wasn't "woke."

Expand full comment
Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Spit my wine! Hilarious!

Expand full comment
Annette's avatar

<golf clap>

Expand full comment
Jim Carmichael's avatar

Thank you, Andy, you can’t imagine how much this post comforts me!

Expand full comment
Larry Caringer's avatar

He may be going to hell…but, he’s dragged the rest of us in there already.

Expand full comment
Kate Decker's avatar

Not quite yet. Let's fight the bastards.

Expand full comment
Andy Borowitz's avatar

Correct

Expand full comment
Kate Decker's avatar

Yes.

Expand full comment
Dawn Kucera's avatar

If you can, show up for a protest on May 1! Those of us who don't have to work, or can time off, let's make an extra effort to be out.

Expand full comment
Ann Rock's avatar

In looking at the protests in my area they seem to be at 6ish so people won’t have to take the day off work.

Expand full comment
Annette's avatar

all set - new poster ready for the 5-7p protest in Rochester, NY!

Expand full comment
Judith G's avatar

Getting ready. I’ll attend a Saturday, 2-4pm. https://www.fiftyfifty.one/

Expand full comment
Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Yes, not going down with a sinking ship! WE FIGHT!

Expand full comment
Phyllis Logan's avatar

He has made America sick in body, mind, and soul, but we're not dead - only more emboldened to "get into some good trouble".

Expand full comment
Annette's avatar

I love John Lewis for giving us that phrase - "good trouble" is perfect!

Expand full comment
Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Expand full comment
Dave Posner's avatar

Hey, the 2 year old was in MS-13 -- Check his knuckles!

Expand full comment
Janet Brown's avatar

Love you!! you always make me smile and cheer me up

Expand full comment
Sean M Carlin's avatar

Good guys wear black!

Expand full comment
Judith Richards's avatar

Like Johnny Cash - the original man in black!

Expand full comment
Forrest Nixon's avatar

GREAT!!!! I have gotten spoiled by the quality of your work, but these were exceptionally good!!! I find I can't get the image of Orange asleep in his blue suit in the Vatican out of my mind!

Expand full comment
Michael's avatar

Donald gives Satan a bad name.

Expand full comment
L. R. Abramson's avatar

The same goes for anyone trump associates with. Satan isn't special in this regard.

Expand full comment
Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Oh now you're just gonna piss him off -- Satan, I mean. Maybe he'll snap up tRump early? A girl can dream...

Expand full comment
L. R. Abramson's avatar

May visions of sugar plums always dance in your head, dear Floofie.

Expand full comment
Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

Aw thanks, L.R.! Love me some sugar plum fairies! But they're dancing across my walnut does seem to cause problems -- that combined with tRump dystopian fog and me wee grey cells are monstrously nettled, alas.

Expand full comment
L. R. Abramson's avatar

Then let's be glad that you grey cells are wee, lest they be full-fledged dust balls.

Expand full comment
Floofie Snapz Back!'s avatar

No dust balls hereabouts! However, the dust bunnies are proliferating like rabbits.

Expand full comment
John Gregory's avatar

you have the best sources!

Expand full comment