Man Who Invested in Trump Shocked to be Losing Fortune
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A South African man who invested millions in Donald J. Trump is in a “state of shock” after losing a fortune, the man said on Monday.
“I’m still trying to process what went wrong,” he said. “If Donald Trump can’t make money, who can?”
The man said he was “baffled” that his investment had soured, given Trump’s “unparalleled track record of business success.”
“I just don’t understand how this happened,” he said. “He seemed so smart on The Apprentice.”
TBR Question of the Day: What would be a better investment than Donald Trump?
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Buy beer and drink it. The empty bottles will be worth more than a Trump investment.
Seriously though, my business partner in real estate (who was very successful) years ago had a negotiation with Trump over housing for casino workers in New Jersey, and walked out of the meeting because he was so unimpressed with Trump's way of doing business.
PET ROCKS would be a much better investment. And the maga cultists won't be able to claim they're being eaten by the immigrants they choose to demean 🤔