The Borowitz Report

The Borowitz Report

Markwayne Mullin Says Anyone Who Claims He Has Anger Issues Will Get Kicked in the Face

Andy Borowitz's avatar
Andy Borowitz
Mar 18, 2026
∙ Paid
Win McNamee/Getty Images

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Portraying himself as a staunch pacifist at his Senate confirmation hearing on Wednesday, DHS nominee Markwayne Mullin said that anyone who claimed he had anger-management issues would get “kicked in the face.”

“I believe that every dispute should be settled peacefully,” Mullin said. “And if anyone…

User's avatar

Continue reading this post for free, courtesy of Andy Borowitz.

Or purchase a paid subscription.
© 2026 Andy Borowitz · Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start your SubstackGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture