Mike Johnson Opts for Medically Induced Coma to Avoid Swearing in New Democratic Congresswoman

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it “the nuclear option,” House Speaker Mike Johnson opted on Tuesday to enter a medically induced coma to avoid swearing in newly elected Democratic congresswoman Adelita Grijalva.

Johnson spoke to reporters at Walter Reed Army Medical Center moments before doctors administered pentobarbital through an intravenous…