Musk Declares Social Security Recipients Can No Longer Work From Home
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Asserting that “this is what we do at all my other companies,” Elon Musk announced on Monday that, henceforth, Social Security recipients will no longer be permitted to work from home.
“When I started running the Treasury Department and saw all those checks going out, I was like, ‘Wait, where are all these people?’” Musk told reporters. “It turns out that they were all remote, which is insane.”
Musk said that, if those on Social Security want to continue receiving benefits, “they can haul their asses down to the U.S. Treasury offices in Washington and get to work—no exceptions.”
Across the country, Social Security recipients protested that the new requirement was inhumane because it would force them to come into contact with Musk.
TBR Question of the Day: Instead of running the U.S. government, where would you like Elon Musk to work?
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I'd like to see him work in a meat-packing plant for low wages like other immigrants.
Inside the federal Supermax prison in Florence, CO.