The Borowitz Report

The Borowitz Report

Nation Shocked By Spectacle of Someone in Washington Advocating Kindness

Jan 22, 2025
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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling the performance “jarring,” millions of Americans were emotionally unprepared on Tuesday for the bizarre spectacle of someone in Washington advocating kindness.

After a day filled with angry calls for exclusion, scapegoating, and random cruelty, the quiet two-minute plea for mercy left …

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