Nation Stunned by Apparent Existence of Rule of Law

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Moments after the United States Supreme Court rejected Donald J. Trump’s request to delay sentencing in his hush money case, Americans were in a state of shock over the apparent existence of the rule of law.

“I didn’t see this coming,” said Cincinnati resident Harland Dorrinson, echoing the sentiments of millions. “I thought that the Supreme Court exercising independence was kind of an old-timey thing.”

“This really feels like Throwback Thursday,” he added, shaking his head.

News of the Court’s decision first spread after Mrs. Samuel Alito lowered her flag to half-staff.

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