Nation's Dogs Call for Noem to be Fired
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a scathing letter to Donald J. Trump, on Thursday the nation’s dogs demanded that Kristi Noem be fired as Secretary of Homeland Security.
“We were incredulous that someone as incompetent as Kristi Noem was nominated in the first place,” the canines wrote. “We knew this wouldn’t end well.”
“This is not a partisan issue,” the dogs concluded. “Cats agree.”
Profile in Awfulness: Kristi Noem
Cookie and Mousse agree.
Dogs were also deeply offended when an anonymous source reported that Noem was caught humping Trump’s leg in the Oval Office. When questioned by reporters, Noem said, “Stephen MIller made me do it.”