New Study Links Botox to Pathological Lying
CAMBRIDGE, MASSACHUSETTS (The Borowitz Report)—A new study published on Wednesday by Harvard Medical School has found a link between the overuse of Botox and pathological lying.
“Repeated injections of Botox to the face interact with proteins in the brain,” Professor Harland Dorrinson, who supervised the study, said. “The result is an acute allergic reaction to the truth.”
Though over-injecting Botox makes it difficult for a user to move the facial muscles necessary for speech, he said, “to the extent that the person’s mouth is capable of moving, it will be lying.”
The study revealed other negative side effects of Botox, such as swelling in the cranium that requires the user to wear an enormous hat.
Profile in Awfulness: Kristi Noem
Now someone needs to do a study of the effects of JD Vance's excessive eyeliner use.
Help! I’m lying and I can’t shut up!