No Cats Have Disappeared, Say Springfield's Mice
SPRINGFIELD, OHIO (The Borowitz Report)—In a stinging indictment of JD Vance, the mouse community of Springfield, Ohio asserted on Thursday that there has been “no decline whatsoever” in the town’s feline population.
“While JD Vance sees fit to spread false rumors he’s read on the Internet, we’re the ones scurrying about on the ground,” an o…