The Borowitz Report

The Borowitz Report

Nobel Peace Prize Committee Says It Takes Points Off if a Candidate Denies People Food

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Andy Borowitz
Nov 10, 2025
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Steffen Trumpf/picture alliance via Getty Images

OSLO (The Borowitz Report)—The committee tasked with awarding next year’s Nobel Peace Prize will deduct points from any candidate who has denied people food, a Nobel spokesperson announced on Sunday.

The spokesperson, Halvard Dorrinström, explained how the scoring system works, using the hypothetical exampl…

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